"I'm leaving on a jet plane...."

And my ex (first husband) is taking me to the airport. Got my ticket and that's all I need. Gotta figure out what to bring as the temps vary from 50 - 80 degrees this time of year.  And their cold is colder and their heat is hotter.  On the plus side....Southwest airlines allows two checked bags, 1 carry on and like your purse or whatever will fit under the seat in front of you and it's all NO CHARGE!  Apparently most of the other airlines now charge for each and every bag as well as $4 here and $12 there for basics.  I am so excited!!!  Well except when I feel a little nervous about it.  Will be there for my daughter-in-laws favorite holiday - Thangsgiving.  And will also be there when Gaby ?? who won the Olympic um...like gymnast thing will be speaking at their church.

Maggie is growing by leaps and bounds.  She is getting better about biting and also listening.  She still loves to chew though.  Hope she is done teething soon.  And perhaps getting spayed the end of the month or early Dec. will calm her down a bit.  I know when I was spayed,...it didn't calm me down.  Er,...well..not spayed but.....

I am also going to try to do things a bit different here.  I am going to try to write only the good things Hunter does.  Yes, it will be difficult as I am going to have to also exclude the things good that he does that any normal person SHOULD/WOULD do.  I don't know how this will work because I seem to be a complainer and I am also one for writing when I am angry, depressed or feeling negative.  It is the same with poetry.  Mine is always sad.  I tried to write a "happy"  poem twice and they were both stupid -  I think because they weren't genuine feelings.

Anyway...it is a bit chilly out here  - my fingers are numb - and I have housework I want to do.  Peace and Love.

Today it is sunny in Pleasantville.

Literally sunny!  And a breezy 70's.  I showered, dressed and-brace yourself-I even did my hair and make-up.  I have all the make-up in the world and never ever wear it.  Well, look at me now!  Yes, I am going to work in the yard and get dirty and all that fun stuff....but I am going to look damn good doing it!  In fact, if you are in front of me while I am bent over working....you will probably get a glimpse of the "golden globes."  Oh yeah!

Maggie is getting better with me.  Or perhaps it is I who is figuring out how to deal with her.  I give her firm no if she bites.  It may take a couple of nos but then she starts licking me and I praise her telling her, "Nice licky, Good girl."  Hunter took her out to the farm with him.  She needs to have all that running around.  Hunter had to bring the rototiller and it is damn heavy.  But said he didn't want me helping him lift it into the back of the truck.  See.  There are good things and I require very little in the way of kindness.  To be sure, I know it doesn't excuse all the crap behavior. 

So....I need to get to cutting down my ornamental grass.  Perhaps we can get it moved before winter sets in.  If not, then we will do it in the spring.  I am anxious to move it because where it is now shades way too many of the flowers I have there and I can then also plant other flowers.  I will only plant part of it in a new spot as it needs it.  But I saw the same grass in some one's yard with about a 24" round thing around it.  It held the grass in place.  I am going to try to think of what I can use for this.  Not like a peony cage but something solid.

I am actually feeling peace and joy today and so....I wish you the same.

Boring things.

Sore throat.  Not enough regular sleep.  Puppy  .Big storm. 1.3" rain.  Looks like it could rain again.  Power out 10 hours.  Wanting to sleep to escape again.  What's that all about?  Maggie has coccidia?  Medicine.  New collar-blaze orange, of course.  Leash.  Stye or something weird inside my lower eyelid.  Will have Hunter check it out.  Much cooler right this minute.  Mostly 90's for the next 10 days.  What am I s'posed to do with that?  The hell!  Is that a mosquito on my arm?  New cable boxes to program.  We do everything it says and all remote responses are as they should be.  Right up until the last one.  Am trying to get Hunter to get his tech savvy son over here.  HA!  Tomorrow is yard work.  Raking bark, twigs and leaves off the yard so I can mow.  Saturday is dinner and a play with friends.  We'll bring Maggie and her new cage.  Oh, I am sure she'll love that.  Then I am trying to get together with my son one last time before they leave.  House is a fairly empty but disheveled mess.  So.........chocolate it is!

The magic of cigarettes.

I haven't had one since before dinner yesterday.  It's almost noon.  I am out of smokes because of the "allowance" thing.  I sit here thinking which jewelry I can turn into cash to buy more cigs.  Here's the thing.....-and I am not assigning blame-...but why of all times does Hunter have to pick now to be an utter fuckhead?  Is it because it's hot?  I'm hot too!  Is it because of puppy care?  I do this too.  And then my head goes back to other things.  Like how he says I don't know how to drive.  This must be recent.  How I don't cook for him....yet everything I take out to make...even if I tell him and he says ok, he ends up changing it to something else.  Yes,....he grills it but all I am saying is...don't tell me I don't cook.  He is insistent that I fill that little 'moat' on the top of the hummingbird feeder with water.  Got on me about it again.  "I told you to do it yesterday.'  So I got up and did it.  BTW, he had just come out on the front porch with a cup of coffee and I thought he was going to sit and talk with me.  I was on-line looking at a dog sight and had begun to tell him a cool thing I read and that is when he interrupts me about this fucking water thing. 
Enter Sarcasm...."Gee, I'll get right on that even though I haven't seen any ants in there."
And Sarcasm plus passive/aggressiveness are my super powers.  I seem to have a problem being direct.  And Hunter is unable to have an adult conversation with me.  My only option would have been to respond with a simple "Ok, I will."  Or....(false stupidity thus making a man feel smart) saying....."What is the water for?"  His answer will take a very circuitous route to come to an incorrect conclusion or if I had asked if it is for such and such......he will immediately say no and then go into this whole thing that has nothing to do with anything winding up saying the very same thing I had said in the beginning.

I do not think I am smarter than anyone.  But.......I can admit it.  If I am wrong,....Please correct me.  I want to know.  I want to learn. I want to be better.  I want a fucking cigarette so I don't kill this poor man who struggles to breath and is afraid of his mortality. 

I already feel physically better.  Truly.  It isn't in my head. I don't want to smoke. I think keeping my distance from Hunter is key.  We are two peas in a pod but whereas I grow in the garden......his 'pod' was beamed down from an alien space ship.