Premature Evacuation

I said evacuation!  Yeah.  No deal reached by midnight so I put on my parachute and jumped off the cliff and into the abyss.  No way was I going to wait to be pushed.  The abyss seemed oddly familiar to me.  I looked around and saw there were only about 14 of us.  Where was everyone?  I got a text the following day telling me that the fiscal cliff was averted at the last minute.  Well no...it was after the last minute, right?  What really shocked me was the fact that my phone worked in the abyss.  It rarely has signal.  We got busy climbing out and I was glad to have my little multi-tool with me.  Made it to the top and it was as if nothing had happened.

Saw Matt and Deb and the kids yesterday before they flew back home to Florida.  Mmmm.  Warmth.  Oh.  Did I tell you we broke a record set in 1878?  310 consecutive days of temps above 32 or 34 degrees.  That would be fine except that it means no snow.  It's January and STILL no snow?  Maybe it is the end of the world. 

A word on Maggie Mae.  She is about 7 1/2 months old.  We had to put our other lab down in July of 2010 or 2011.  And she was awesome!!!!!!  She belonged to my son and his wife.  They worked long hours and so we got her when she was about a year old.  Best dog ever.  Maggie is also very smart like Belle was.  I know Maggie is just a pup but I take it personally.  I have tried everything.  She sees me as a "playmate".  I have even tried the dominance thing where you tell them NO (when they do something bad) then get on top of them and push them into the floor.  Oh,....she thinks this is great fun.  I know she will grow out of it.  I know.  It's just that I can't be fighting depression and her at the same time.  I know she will grow up and be the one comforting me by licking the tears from my eyes.  But as for now......?  How'd you all like some dog stew?

And so it goes.  I was trying not to take a nap yesterday but then Chuck came to the door while I was out smoking, and pulled down his boxers and.....ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  He has never done this before.  I am the one who always hollers to him out the window and when he looks, I lift up my shirt.  So yeah.  I ended up taking a "nap."  Just woke up a couple hours ago having slept 8 hours.  It was 1 AM when I awoke.  I really don't think I can go back to sleep.  I want to go work up in our office-year end and all that-but it is right next to our bedroom and I don't want to wake Chuck up.  I could do laundry.  It's in the basement.  And in case anyone wants to know what I want next Christmas.....that would be a ranch house with a laundry room  RIGHT THERE!  No hauling clothes up and down 2 flights of stairs.  Don't need crown moulding or a viking oven or sub-zero fridge.  Hell, I'd even be OK with just an outhouse if I could have my laundry RIGHT THERE.

Guess I'd better get back to it here.  If I don't smoke those cigarettes, no one else will.  Peace.

This was Maggie Mae at 7 weeks old.  See how cute?  Should have gotten her teeth pulled right then and there!

My depression naps don't seem to be working.

I have started back on the escape/depression naps again.  They really don't work.  It's as though I am in that place between sleep and awake. 
I left Hunter a note last night before I went to bed saying that I probably wasn't going to church the next day-today-and not to wake me.  He had mentioned stopping for a few groceries after church so I wrote down a couple things I needed, to make dinner this evening.  I had alot of left over canned tomatoes from the other day that I wanted to use up.  I only wanted one# of burger.  He brought back 1 and a half, saying he knew a pound wouldn't be enough for him.  I'm sorry. When did I tell him what I was making?  Now for those who follow me regularly....I have given this as one example of why I am sick of cooking.  He also mentioned that there was a pkg. of frozen crab.  The fake kind which I happen to love. So the "suggestion" was made that I "could" make crab salad.  And so.....that's what I made.  Yum-O by the way.  Right before I begin to cook, he grabs a plate and loads it with snacks like crackers and cheese and eats while I am getting dinner ready.  Then in the middle of my cooking he gets in the way to make Maggie's dinner.  Mind you....she is a dog and it isn't even just a matter of putting dry food in her dish.  Oh no.  Mix in this and that and heat this and....done.  So Maggie is underfoot as I cook because her dish is in the small cooking area of my kitchen.  Anyway, I get done with dinner and he is asleep at the table.  He's one of those guys who falls asleep as soon as he sits down.

While Hunter was out this morning I was able to do a few things without his interfering or getting in the way.  I started a load of laundry to hang outside.(which I will no longer do until spring as it doesn't seem to dry despite the sun and temps and breeze.)  I spray painted a plaque I had bought as a kind of memorial to my dad.  I also got the front porch painted and finished just as he got home.  Too late! Was just picking up the stuff to take it in and clean it and he says, "Are you going to paint the steps too?"  These are the steps I have wanted to paint for over two years now and he kept saying no because he was going to turn them over and plane them.  Just ug. 

Then I tell him that my son just had Tebow fixed.  He asks me why.  What was wrong.
I said, "Well....she's a girl and she could get pregnant."
Then he starts telling me about Luna getting fixed a couple of weeks ago.  Um....Luna?  She is one of his friends from the farm.  I give a shit about this why?

And so it goes.  I have decided once again to try to find my joy and when I do, I won't let anyone steal it.  It's sad that no one seems to share the joy but I will be joyful anyway.

I stay because of the money issue.  And....ya can't always choose who you love.  Guess I do a crappy job at that huh?