Why am I feeling this way? I am going to pick-up my grand daughter Meadow today and for some reason I am in high anxiety mode. WTF! I actually like the drive out there. Meadow is totally accepting and easy going like me. I am going to cut her hair. That's no big deal. I still cut hair. I am going to call to see how much it costs to get the ends dyed pink or purple. (yeah, I got mom's approval.) We will watch tv and eat and play games and stuff.
I know it will be fun. I truly know that. Wish somebody could fix me.
We did get some snow. Possible and inch. The neighbor shoveled my driveway, which wasn't necessary but I am grateful none-the-less.
I watched the movie 28 Days with Sandra Bullock. It's about rehad. I want to be her. To have those kind of friends. I want to have that enlightenment The contentment and happiness that comes from accomplishing something. To have the strength to overcome my issues. I know it isn't easy. But I want that strength. I want to be proud of myself. To "wake up" and see the beauty in our world through clear eyes.
I am sure my next post will be full of the joy of my visit with Meadow. But I just had to put my feelings into words.
Thanks for listening. Peace.
5 comments:
Try not to worry too much Middle Child and be careful on the Xanax as well haha. Great post, hopefully you have a great time with Meadow!
You know you have the motivation to change your life, flickering inside you. A few doable portions of a goal you wish to achieve, without putting pressure on yourself, can see you truly marvel at the beauty in our world through clear eyes.
May your visit be a very joyous occasion. Enjoy your weekend and stay well wrapped up.
In kindness,
Gary
Sis, maybe like myself...you really don't know what you want.
It's a feeling that can never be fulfilled, but we keep reaching out for it none the less. sighhhhh
(((hugs)))
Hopefully just the action of putting your thoughts into words via your blog will help attain a little clarity. Maybe?
It's always been therapeutic for me.
I have never tried taking Xanax so I wouldn't know.
And I'm looking forward to your next post!! Sorry if I've been MIA lately! I still read though. From my phone. When I'm on my lunch break. :)
Take care alwaaaaaaaaaays!!!
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