Friday, January 3, 2014


Just wanted to see if you're paying attention.  Damn global warming.  Hm,.....probably has something to do with obama care.  That's obama with a lower case o.

Well I have become a real cry-baby.  No.  I'm talking tears.  It's so stupid.  At group I usually cry off and on through the first third of it.  Seriously though.  I didn't even cry when I fell on the ice.  I did let out a resounding "Shit!" but other than that....Anyway, first they added Abilify.  Now I also start taking Welbutrin.  I start tomorrow.  I stupidly read the pamphlet.  And so now I hope I at least get to have the hallucinations before I commit suicide. I don't know how quickly this gets into your system but Hunter leaves 3 days from now and I kinda want him to be here.  Just in case.
I think I may call the Guinness Book of World Records.  I think I may have become the first person to take 10 + 1 pills every morning plus an inhaler without really having anything wrong with me.  You know what I mean.

Tomorrow we go pick up a friend's dog (Ace) - the dog's name, not the guy's - and will be "babysitting" him until Hunter leaves Monday, taking both Ace and our dog Maggie with him to Texas.  Hunter said Ace is kind of destructive as in I will need to pick up 10,000 things and get them out of the kitchen.

What else.  Oh, I spent New Year's eve and day with my daughter Dawn and her kids.  She knew it would be tough without her husband there and all that's going on between them.  And she also hit her personal best in self-harm. 2-3" cuts from wrists to inside elbow.  Nothing I say can get her to seek the help she needs.  But I think she is getting close.  She knows she needs help but is afraid her husband can take the kids away.  I also found out she has been cutting and stuff since 8th grade.  How could I not know that??????  and i wonder why i cry. 

I'd love to bitch about the impossibly cold weather but I know others are having it worse.  I'm talking to you Minnesota!  Sara, I hope your hubby bought you a fur coat!

Be well. 


Spanner said...

10 pills first thing ? Is there any room for breakfast ???
I made the mistake of reading the leaflet that came with my first (and only) set of meds. On balance I thought I'd be happier depressed than impotent and suicidal :-)
Here in England we don't suffer much from really bad weather but we are World Champion moaners when it comes to a bit of rain and the odd gust of wind !

Sara Strand said...

Nope- Matt did not get me a coat! BUT what ended up happening is a blogger sent me $50 as a random act of kindness with a note that said, "don't die, but a coat". HA! So I did, I went and bought a coat with the little bit left on my credit card and that. So far, it's been nice. :) We are supposed to be around -55 to -74 with wind chill by Monday. Tomorrow looks horrible, around -46. I got groceries today and now I wait. AWESOME. :/

Rob-bear said...

Ugh! So many pills. I don't take that many (though mine include Wellbutrin, but not Abilify). Tonight we are -30C (or about -22F) but the wind chill takes it down to -43C (-45F). Not as bad as Minnesota, but we're working on it.

Blessings and Bear hugs!

My name WAS Female, I shit you not! said...

I'm reading this on the 6th and realize that damned dog is finally gone.
Hope you survived it!
Wish I had some magic words for you to help you through this tough spot in your life.
Take refuge in the fact that nothing stays the same m/f.
Just by you seeking outside help, things have to be seen in a different light. Hope before too long the light at the end of your tunnel arrives.

Red Shoes said...

Re: the ten-pill thing...

Holy Shiznit!?!?!?!?!

Those temps up there are down right scary!!!! Please be safe...

Don't you know that in order to get someone to lick an icicle, there has to be the much dreaded, much feared, triple-dog dare...???