Saturday, August 18, 2012

Another Land.

The weather has been totally gorgeous lately.  I have been too absorbed in another land to have noticed it.  How sad.  I have not been aware of or grateful for the beauty.  I ran out to my daughter's yesterday because I had Meadow's school schedule in my purse from when we went to orientation.  Jeremy goes back to work Sunday-gone for 6 weeks at a time-and Dawn goes back on Monday.  The kids start school the 22nd.  They have the hotel rented until like the 29th.  Can't be into their townhouse until Sept. 1st.  Need to figure out what to do for those 2 days.  Dawn has a really good friend-several in fact-who will let them stay there.  Then I can help them get the things they need for now out of storage.  Will use my rendezvous and their SUV or what ever.  Ya was much easier when it was just...the car, the truck or the van.  We, opps...I mean Hunter has a nice truck but I know he won't let me use it.  Jeremy will be back the end of Sept. to rent a u-haul to move the rest of the stuff out of storage and into the townhouse.  After that.....hopefully things will be on more of a even keel. 

And on a happier note......I do believe Hunter is leaving the end of the month to go to his friends farm.  He will be gone over a week and will have Maggie with him.  I would have my nervous breakdown then but I have to wait until Dawn is all settled.  Hmmmm.  Maybe I will wait until later in Sept. or October or November.  Actually I was kinda hoping my heart would explode while I was right here with Chuck, preferably when he was yelling at me.  I have that ascending aortic aneurysm and while that heart wall isn't quite thin enough to do surgery on could happen anyway.  It's a case of weighing the benefits of surgery now or later. 

The drive home from Dawn's is a bit over 45 minutes.  There is construction and because I am so worn out and it's dark and they're  all these lights and construction barrels.....well it has become kind of a crap-shoot as to whether or not I will make it home alive.  It's a bit like driving through a weird dream.  As far as I know, I won't be going back there until Thursday because they will all be gone and I will need to stay with their dog Simon.  They are concerned that he may howl and bark and then they'd get kicked out of the hotel.  Also.....just to make it more interesting....they did get Dawn's old car to the hotel by jumping it but now it won't start again.  I don't think it's the battery.  I believe they need a new starter.  I am worried that it could be an electrical problem which would really suck.
I do need your help though.  Does anyone know where I can buy more strength?  Can I get it at Walmart?  Or do I have to go get it on a corner in the dark streets of Chicago.?  Maybe I should eat something.  Coffee isn't doing it.  Sleep isn't enough.

It's evening now.  I wrote the above this  morning.  Or was it yesterday?  Went and saw my friend Susan.  Then I went to Goodwill and got 2 lampshades.and a pair of shoes.  What?  I went to Kohl's.  I haven't been there in a long time and the prices seemed so high!  Three sweaters, a bra, two bracelets and a ring.  There may have been other things.  Dawn texted that if I was at one of my stores-thrift-that she was looking for jeans for the kids for school.  All denim was 25% off today.  I called to see how late they were open and made it there with only 30 minutes to shop.  I just got everything I could find in the sizes she needed.  Got 25% off the denim, 5% off with my card and another 25% off with my birthday savings card that they send me every year.  I will take them when I go there Thursday and have them try them on.  What ever doesn't fit or they don't like can be taken back.  Then since it was right there, I stopped at Walgreens.  Spend.  And that seems to be my drug of choice.  Sad.  But at least I feel better for now.  Tomorrow is church and I am debating whether or not I want to go.  I know I will cry.  Perhaps I will go and stay in the cry room.  It's a room that you take your baby into if the baby is acting up.  And you can still hear the service.

Ok.  Will go to desktop computer so I can play my game.
Just found out that it was their battery so car is good!


Wanda's Wings said...

I am so glad it was the battery and not something electrical! If I find a palace to buy energy I will let you know.

Rob-bear said...

Sorry; I canot tell you where to get more strength. If I knew, I would have bought some already, and there might not be enough left for you. Seems there is not a lot of that around these days. Unless you count armies.

Too bad Dawn couldn't take Simon. Or leave the pooch with some friends.

Hunter gone to the farm may be good, but is it good for Maggie? Or for you without Maggie?

Too much complexity in your life. Sigh.

My name WAS Female, I shit you not! said...

Broken, sad, heavy, hearts...hurt like HELL. My thoughts are with you Karen. (((hugs)))Pat

Nikki (Sarah) said...

more strength...there are some days...I feel weaker than a worm...other days I swear I can fly. Hope today is one that you're pumped with power and strength.

lotta joy said...

WHY THE HELL would you give Hunter the satisfaction of you ruining the one week you have by having a nervous breakdown.

You have too much on your plate of everyone else's drama. (brain tumor aside)

Learn to access the atmosphere when Hunter is gone, and just see if it isn't more prone to serenity, no matter what is happening.

You NEED the Hunter that you WISH HE WAS. Not the Hunter he IS.

What can I do to get through to you?

I'm sure that when you're in action mode, you're a force to be reckoned with ON YOUR OWN.

Henrietta Collins said...

lol i love how you are preplanning when you can have your nervous breakdown!

Aunt Juicebox said...

Geez....I've been reading back..I'm sorry I haven't been around to give you any support or words of encouragement/sympathy. I truly wish you didn't have to go through all of this....hang in there.

Just Be Real said...