First lets get the obvious over with. Hunter is never there when I really need him. I mean NEED!
I am not a drama queen by any stretch of the imagination. Yeah I am a bit moody and too sensitive and stupid for marrying Hunter. But how quick I forgive and
He wasn't in my life when several bad things happened but he was around when.........
My father died. I had to many responsibilities but I go into this "mode" that allows me to do what I need to do. Yes, I can deal. I am a big girl. But HE DIDN'T ATTEND MY DAD'S FUNERAL! He was leaving to go out west hunting the day before the funeral. Then he's telling people my dad told him to go. That isn't just bullshit, but it is the biggest pile at the very top!
Then came MY SON'S BRAIN TUMOR. He was all into the "Your family sucks" mode. So I didn't tell him because I didn't need the extra stress. For awhile I got away with it by telling him that I was taking Susan to the hospital for tests and stuff. Finally I had to come clean cuz he read my diary. I told him to sit down and not interrupt me. Well you know he didn't even let me finish my sentence without trying to take over the conversation. I told him to sit down and just listen..He did until I got to about the second sentence. I told him that again that he needs to just LISTEN or I wouldn't tell him. So he did and I did. You must know how this thing with my son devastated me. And what did Hunter do? He said he would support me as far as allowing me to but gas to go back and forth to the hospital and such. But that is all. He didn't want to talk about it or be supportive and he even made it sound like he was so helpful to me. He does this in all situations including my dad's funeral. He would tell people that my dad told him to go hunting to alleviate his own guilt obviously.
And now we have MY DAUGHTER'S EVICTION. I talked to my daughter on Monday about what time to come over to help pack and stuff. Then I asked about the following day. Asked if I should cancel my appt. with my therapist. She said yeah, if you can. So I came inside to call the therapist and Hunter heard my conversation when I called about cancelling. My therapist knows me well and she really impressed upon me that I needed to keep my appt. My daughter understood completely and even agreed. Right after I hung up with the therapist......Hunter went ballistic. Saying Mary was a charleton and was just "fattening her couffers " I told him she was rich and could buy him ten times over. I just listened to him blather on without responding or reacting to him. When he finally got done listening to himself I gathered my things and headed out to my daughter's. I just had to be strong for my daughter and her family without any comfort of my own when I got home. I have been a total mess inside. I think I may have flipped out a bit when I was driving home around one AM. Was at Dawn's at nine am or so. Everyone was sleeping except her husband who was out faxing and doing what he was told to do to get the eviction postponed until they could move into their new place the end of August. I was sitting on their porch smoking and drinking coffee 'till he got home. The sheriff came exactly at ten am and Jer showed him the lease papers for the new place and explained about the fax and what he was told. The sheriff made a call and there was nothing they could do. The eviction was to proceed. Jer told me to go in and wake up everybody. Then I told them about the eviction and that they needed to get dressed and gather their most valuable things and put them in our cars. Dawn started vomiting immediatley and Meadow was crying and the boys were well, the way boys are, I guess. The sheriff told us a crew would be here to remove all their belongings and set them in the yard. He said that it would take them about an hour. Jer and I both almost laughed our loud at that. I will say that the sheriff was very kind. I explained what Dawn was doing and he said I needed to stay with her to be sure she was alright and that she didn't harm herself. We got to packing as fast as we could. The crew was very kind, asking what room they would prefer us to start in, etc. Once they were done, Jer got a U-Haul and Cain called a bunch of his friends and Dawn and Jer's friends came and some of Jer's family. We finished just after dark and right as a couple rain drops started falling. They rented a hotel room after failing to get ahold of Dawns dad. They will go to front desk tomorrow to see if they can rent another room for a week or so,
In the mean time,.....Hunter isn't talking or acknowledging me and I am fine with that. I have decided that when he gets the charge card bill with cigs and gas on it.....and he will yell and threaten me....I will tell him not to worry. I have things figured out. He owes me $25,000 and I will start deducting the charges from that. Oh, I am sure he will have something to say about that but.......that's what I will do. He will have to take the card right out of my wallet cuz I sure as hell won't give it to him. And if he starts in about what a bad housewife I am...I will ignore him. He can leave me if he wants.