Saturday, July 28, 2012

The Patience of a Saint?

Not even the patience of a St. Bernard!  Not today.  (Actually, I wish I had a St. Bernard.  Don't they carry around those casks of Brandy? ) Did you ever try to walk a wild-eyed scribble?  That's what it was like walking Maggie this evening.  Not only did she walk farther than ever but she ran like crazy even when we got home!  And then there's the biting.  You know how George -our neighbor- pulls his own teeth out with a pliers?  Well if  Maggie doesn't stop this biting shit when her permanent teeth come in......I am going to get George over here with his pliers!  I am NOT cruel!  I will get her drunk first.   So I will  have to throw her food in a blender.  Not a problem.  She has plenty of "teething" toys.  I do not look like any of them and yet......she insists on biting at my shoes so I don't wear any.  She bites my fingers so I curl them into a fist.  I try to remember not to get all up in her face when I am saying NO to her biting cuz my cheeks look so tasty to her.  And normally I am pretty quick.  But she is quicker.  When I wear sundresses, she jumps up and rips grabs the hem.  Today I was wearing my "I'm a slob cuz I'm staying home" shorts.  Damned if she didn't jump up and grab the hem and pull them half off me!  Good thing I wasn't going commando.  I'm sure that by now she thinks her name is "No-No Bad Dog."
But like a real baby, she is adorable when she is sleeping and so fun when she jumps up on the open door of the dishwasher to "pre-wash" my dishes with her tongue.  Now if she would just keep her legs closed and her mouth shut......Wait!  Didn't people used to say that about me?


Anonymous said...

LMAO!!! Poor Middle Child. I recommend a swat to the snout when it tries to bite,claw, etc. Wish I had more advice to give but I don't. Well, I do not think it is wise to pull the teeth...but if you do you should make the teeth into a necklace and wear it all the time. Would that be considered a form of abuse. Hum? Oh well. Have a good night woman.

My name WAS Female, I shit you not! said...

You made me smile. :0) (((hugs)))Pat

Unknown said...

big smile!

Yaya said...

Lol. You're funny. Dogs are something else, but totally worth it. I always tell my boyfriend I would rather have dogs than kids cause they don't talk back & give unconditional love, remember that. :)

Rob-bear said...

AW, she is so sweet! Though her behaviour is a bit, ah, challenging (shall we say) at this point.

I do trust the two of you will get past this childhood hiccup in her actions.

Grammy Goodwill said...

hahaha - I'm sorry you're struggling with training her, but you sure made this post a funny one.

grins said...

I get older animals from the pound. I can't take raising a puppy.
Had some acquaintances that used to go to the drive in. The guy would get drunk and his wife would pull his teeth. Scary people.

lotta joy said...

My sister brought home a puppy that would grow up to be a huge Sheep herder. But, he ate her entire, thick rubber floor mat. THEN he ate the entire hem off of her winter wool coat. The next thing he ate??? It was the BASE of her porch column!!!! HE*ATE*IT

Then he grew up and kept their pets all herded and safe.

Gnetch said...

Haha! I loved this! I don't have a dog and I don't think I would have enough patience to own and train one. :)


AiringMyLaundry said...

Ha, that would have been funny had you been going commando.

klahanie said...

Yes, it's me, Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet star!
Maggie left a comment on my site and I reckon she's going to be just fine. Once she concentrates on her writing skills, you will discover she no longer has the desire to chomp at you.
I lick all my human's plates and then the plates go straight back into the cupboard! :)
With that, I shall now go for a piddle.
Pawsitive wishes and doggy kisses, Penny xx

bj said...

Hi, middle child...(I wish I'd been a middle child..always wanted a sis..have a great brother...just the two of us)

I love that you chose your dad's cracker jack charms....I am going to email you a photo of a memory box I made for ea of my kids...just an idea of a way to say smaller things for YOUR kids.

I love doggies but not biting ones...they HURT. :)