Sunday, January 16, 2011

Bend and Stretch.

To all who asked, I do NOT have any extra muscles or joints for sale. Oh puleese! I mean joints like knees and hips. My knees are stupid and my neck and back,..oh just give me a walker and a rocking chair now. The Hunter has two artificial hips and has had back and knee surgery. So yeah,...Boom-Boom involves alot of screaming now and not the good kind either. I could use an artificial brain. One that hasn't been hearing an owl hooting all day no matter where I am. One that doesn't cause this weird arms shaking thing or the WTF - why did I almost fall over stuff. One that doesn't dream every night about one of the husbands cheating on me. Really? Wouldn't you think that just once I could be the one cheating in my dream? We're "shopping" for a new church. (Wish I had a coupon for THAT!) I really enjoyed the one we went to this morning. Couldn't understand a word the pastor was saying but they were friendly. Then we watched the Bears Game. Yippee! Win! I pretty much slept through making dinner. Turkey breast, dressing (stuffing) and the usual. I got so hot (no, not excited) but I had to step out and have a cig to cool off. ----(yeah Coffey, that was me out there with no coat on in 19 degree temps.)-----By the time I finished cleaning up after dinner, I seemed to wake up some. Tomorrow I go to get my permanent crown put on. ROYALS - I am not talking about the beer tab crown so don't get your panties in a bunch - and yes I know that most of you don't wear any. Don't send the flying monkeys, I may be a little cranky but I am still your loyal subject.

Sorry guys. That was just a little business I had to take care of. Speaking of me - we were, were we not? I do love to sleep. I am so good at it. I should have my own reality show, like for insomniacs to watch. I sleep, smoke and drink coffee, take pills eat, smoke and drink coffee. Repeat. Then I sleep. I know right? "Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?"

11 comments:

Coffeypot said...

I just wish I had a grilfriend.

Cinderita said...

as someone who is also a middle child..how do I not follow you? and relate to you? and nod my head as you share? Yah. I'll be following you. :-)

Kamila said...

You are hilarious..!!! I love sleeping..I love sleeping... I love sleeping.. I once love coffee....but now I love sleeping than coffee...

Bossy Betty said...

I wuv sleeping too. I think I'll do some right now.

Linda Medrano said...

Child, you are hysterically funny. I wish my girlfriend was hot like you!

KittyCat said...

I dont smoke, but I do LOVE sleeping and coffee.

We should hang out sometime.

Just sayin.
ps love the idea of having something special on for all those who cant sleep.

boycottamericanwomen said...

BOYCOTT AMERICAN WOMEN
Why American men should boycott American women

http://boycottamericanwomen.blogspot.com/

I am an American man, and I have decided to boycott American women. In a nutshell, American women are the most likely to cheat on you, to divorce you, to get fat, to steal half of your money in the divorce courts, don't know how to cook or clean, don't want to have children, etc. Therefore, what intelligent man would want to get involved with American women?

American women are generally immature, selfish, extremely arrogant and self-centered, mentally unstable, irresponsible, and highly unchaste. The behavior of most American women is utterly disgusting, to say the least.

This blog is my attempt to explain why I feel American women are inferior to foreign women (non-American women), and why American men should boycott American women, and date/marry only foreign (non-American) women.

BOYCOTT AMERICAN WOMEN!

CB said...

Don't worry bitch... I'm pissy too.

The FUCK? Is that boyscout fuck for real??? I must go investigate.

John McElveen said...

It is soo hard to find a place to Worship. Whooda thunk huh?

John

Red Shoes said...

I imagine that 'BoycottAmericanWomen' has a very close relationship with his hands...

Just sayin'...

Oh maybe he's boycotting just because he is rejected by them...

Doesn't matter...

~shoes~

All That Glitters said...

Oh my!!! This is hilarious!!!! I like to sleep too! My husband doesn't understand it. It's my hobby!

Happy new follower!
Jennifer