Thursday, September 30, 2010

A letter to the Kingdom.

To her Royal Highness,

When I was threatened with being called a peon, I had to speak up. I am sure you know nothing of this and if the Queen has any knowledge, it is very little. Many, many generations ago, there was an indiscretion in the Kingdom. It was hushed up and I was hoping it wouldn't have to come out until many years from now, if ever. Unfortunately, you have forced my hand. I have offered to be a warrior in your quest for world domination. But I cannot be called a peon.
In all actuality, I am a half-blood princess. I am sure you are alarmed by this but I can assure you that I am not looking to share in your fortune nor do I wish a title to be bestowed upon me. I do not wish to name names, though we have a the book with the whole story in it, sealed and well hidden. At the time of this indiscretion which lead to a bastard child, a deal was made that said child would, when of age, become the Royal Falconer, thus securing employment for his family forever, or as long as the Kingdom stood. One from each generation was taught this skill. One year the Falconer turned out to be a drunk. He made a pass at the princess and was expelled from the Kingdom but because he knew the secret, the King told him to train the next generation and the position would be his. The drunk taught the younger all the secrets to training these great birds, and before he died he told this young man that the King would summon him when ready. Through generations, we have followed this great tradition and kept it all silent, waiting for the Royal Family to contact us. If you are wondering how a woman came to be a falconer, I can say that I learned from my mother who learned from her father. (she had no brothers.) And I was content to wait but then you threatened to refer to me as a peon and treat me as such. I cannot abide with this.
I will hold all the secrets of the past, whether or not you call me to be the Royal Falconer. And I stand ready to battle for the kingdom. But if you insist on treating me in what I consider to be an insulting manner, I will be forced to spread the word about what I know.

7 comments:

Cheeseboy said...

Royal Falconer? Quite a calling in life.

Just Plain Tired said...

I always fancied associating with royalty. Whoda thought this blogging stuff would enable that? ;)

Coffeypot said...

Wow, I love stories full of sex. A bastard child...I know him. I worked for him several times.

Linda Medrano said...

Baby, I knew you were royalty even before this post!

Bleeding Healer said...

This is so interesting,and funny,not saying in an insulting manner,but I love how the half-blood princess would drill senses into the Queen's brain.The lines are so comical.I started following your blog recently,but this is my first time commenting.You really write so well,it's very interesting,and light hearted.
Keep Posting.
Bleeding Healer

R. Jacob said...

royal blood, who knew? and a nice new look to your blog, your highness!

Jason, as himself said...

A very well crafted post indeed. The queen had better be nice!