Sunday, June 13, 2010
Mowed just before the rain. Didn't want to but felt guilty as all the neighbors were out landscaping. Actually their kids were doing it for them. Have you noticed that all I seem to do is mow? What an exciting life. I woke with my usual, "What's the use. What's the point of living ?" and all that crap. I just don't get it anymore. Depression. And while it goes away, it also comes back and says to me that there is no reason for me to exist. I am nothing. I do nothing and I help no one. I really don't ever look forward to anything. I go and even enjoy myself at times. But I'd rather stay home alone having my own little pity party. TV is the best diversion. Yet I know it's stupid. I am not depressed about anyone or anything. What does God see in me?