I have been widowed before and I know what love looks like. I was well taken care of at that time. There was ins. on the house and car. When he died (of a failed heart transplant) the house and car were paid. There were ins policies then soc. sec. for my kids. He also taught me alot about maintenance and repairs.
My current husband keeps saying I will be well taken care of. I do know I will get his pension in part and there's NOTHING he can do to take that away from me. Then at a certain point I will get soc. sec.
I think he wants to control "his" money because that is the only thing left in his life that he can control. Too bad he sucks at it. One bad investment after another. He has such a longing to be like many of his friends who really DO have money. We'd be doing really well if he'd ever listen to me. But like every other 16 year old, he's gonna do what his friends are doing. Oh, that's right! He's far from 16. And their situations are far different. I am done with signing on for anymore of his stupid brainstorms. Now he is talking about remortgaging my (our) home for the 3rd time. It was mine and fully paid for when he met me. Anyway, everyone says, just don't do it. He has never talked to me about this, I just usually overhear him on the phone and he considers that as my being informed. He did tell me today when he got home that he can remortgage for 30 years and that will bring the payments down to around $300 a month. Seriously? He'll be dead in 30 years!!! The first time he mortgaged my fully paid for house (which I allowed and his name was put on the title), he promised he's pay it off when he got,....um, I forget but anyway, he didn't. Same thing the 2nd time.
It's just a control thing. I won't be left destitute and for however short a time I have to not be working, I will damn well enjoy it. Ooooo, I also need to change the beneficiaries on my 2 IRAs so it is ONLY my kids.
I cannot afford to leave and there are many good things here too. Man doesn't love himself and is still searching for self worth. I've tried to help him but it has to be in an indirect way and sometimes I don't have the energy. It's hard to help a man who thinks he's all that and a bag of chips too. Sooooo,....I take care of me. I am so easy to please. A smile, chocolate, bubbles, weather, animals, sounds, etc. So many easy delightful things.