I forgot to go to bed.

It's 5:23 AM and I still haven't gone to bed. What's up with that?  There's no reason why I would stay up and yet here I am.  So now I will stay up another hour so I can take my pills.  I will be up Wed. morning at 6AM so.......
Then I will go to bed.  I can warm up the car later when I wake up.  I did so yesterday, even going to fill my gas tank.  I don't want it to get below a half tank when it is so cold.
Hunter left Sunday for Texas and weather has been horrendous.  He had to stop in Bloomington the first night cuz it was a complete white-out.  Then he got going again the next day and a lot of vehicles were off the roads but he soldiered on.  Last call was from St. Lewis Missouri.

Yeah I know this is boring.  But I haven't slept yet so my wit and charm are numb right now.

High Blood Pressure
II Diabetes
Sleep Apnea
COPD
Severe Depression
and a Right Ascending  Aortic Aneurysm.

Makes you wish I was your girlfriend, right?

Am I old enough for a nursing home?  All I do is talk about my ailments and the weather.  Plus I do love Bingo.That pink or lilac hair rinses would be cool too.  And I hate to cook .Man...my knee is really hurting.  SEE!  There I go again.  Guess my list is incomplete.  I also have arthritis and a partially torn Meniscus.

I am too tired for any scintelatibg conversation so will go and read a few posts and leave a few incoherent comments.  Joy and Sweet Dreams!

Cat scratches?

How can a person help when they can't?  All I can do is love and pray for Meadow and advise her mom.  The protractor damage she wrote that she inflicted turned out to be 2 superficial scratches which she blamed on the cat.  Dawn has said that she will make an appt. with a therapist for the both of them.  Will let you know what comes of it.  And anyone who has knowledge of this subject...feel free to comment.  Thanks!

So...chance of snow flakes here and 80 degree weather in southern Illinois?  I um....what?  Don't get it and my spring flowers that are popping up don't know whether to shit or go blind!  Doesn't really matter I guess because it sounds like Hunter is taking over my flowerbeds too.  I gotta just roll with it because nothing ever changes.  Now.  If he starts using my purses?  There will be hell to pay!!!!  I will go postal on him!  There are three rifles in the bathroom right now.  What.  You don't all decorate like that?  He just put them in there today and I am not even going to mention it.  I have just been watching for signs of senility.  Oh yeah.  They are starting.  And yeah, I piss and moan but I do love him and though his ways are unconventional, to say the least, he does love me too.  I worry so much about his health.  Truly I do.   I mean....if he has to go on oxygen...how far away from the house will I have to be in order to light-up?

Yeah, I'm back in the saddle here and....oh, speaking of saddle - I wore some super high stilettos to bed last night.  'Nuff said.

S'posed to go to Meadow's track meet tomorrow but since it's still winter....it could be cancelled.  We would be leaving at about 2:30 or so.  Hope if it's cancelled, someone lets us know.  Kind of a long drive to go and have to come right back.

And since it's apparently winter here, I think I will make split pea soup for dinner tomorrow.

Kisses.

At least I showered!

Hm.  Why does that title sound familiar?  Did you know I have 4 more ducks on the wall?  And no, they don't cover all the holes that were either put there by Chuck or existing behind paneling-which I knew and told him were there.  (My late husband had to make due with the money he had so he could only panel over it.) But at least the holes were covered.  I am going to have Nutella and Graham Crackers for dinner.  Yum.  Yes, as a matter of fact it is diet food.  I heard the ad on TV and they can't say anything on TV that isn't true.  (Yeah, I kinda ripped that off.)  The tip of my tongue hurts.  I think I need a spoonful of yogurt.  It is soooo windy.  I put down ice melt as it was sunny today and the driveway is an ice rink and I don''t have my ice skates anymore so then I scraped it but it is all wet and in a couple days it is going to be super cold.  Sadly, I don't miss Maggie.  And yet.....I think I got so used to the biting that I may just bite myself.  I also sprayed my car gaskets so that my doors hopefully won't freeze.  I am going to my daughter's on Sunday.  Wanna do my laundry?  Actually I enjoy doing it and folding but putting it away when there  is to away to put it to?  Depression anyone?  I can't give you all of it but I will share.  Sounds like my son-in-law is going to be put to work in a different position.  He will still be traveling.  Doesn't matter.  As long as he still has a job when they laid off so many.   And my son will be having a CT of his head in one week because of his headaches.  He has to be attuned to anything unusual due to his tumor.  He isn't one for headaches and has been having too many and they are too painful.  Yesterday was the first day he didn't have a headache.  Hope you all have a good weekend.  Peace.

Django Unchained

What an awesome movie.  I couldn't stop raving about it all night!  Loved it!  Had too much popcorn though.  Yuk.

319 days without a measurable snow.  Broke record set in 1940.  I am not a happy girl!  I like to catch it on my tongue.  I like to make snowmen.  I no longer do snow angels be cause it isn't as easy getting up off the ground as it used to be and the snow angel becomes unrecognizable.  We have had more days of sun than not so far this year.  I go outside and get my fill.  Always makes me feel better.

Maggie still considers me her chew toy.  And even though it's cold enough for furry coats and gloves.....she is not deterred.  She just bites harder.  On the other hand.....she is doing some really cute things.  She likes to jump up to the bathroom sink when I am getting ready in the morning.  I "wash" her cheeks and brush her hair.  She also-on occasion-jumps up to stare at herself in the mirror.  It's like she is admiring here beauty.  Chuck has been putting vitamin E ointment on her scar from being spayed.  I don't know why he does this...but he tells her he's going to put her medicine on and she immediately lays on her back all on her own.  She likes the attention. 

I have headache again.  No migraines.  For whatever reason...the cold gives me headaches. 

Have been working in the office and should have that done in about 5 years.  We put our trash out tonight so I am going to shred a bunch of stuff. 

Oh. I was thinking that we should skip our trip this year and fix the house instead.  The very next day....Chuck verbalized the very same thought.  That is sooooo cool.  He had no idea I was thinking the same thing.  Now what actually comes to pass is anyones guess.  I am cautiously hopefully.  It definitely needs fixing. 

"Oh...the sun'll come out. Tomorrow. Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow...."

We are leaving soon to go to the theater to see Annie.  Hunter has my bronchitis now.  I have finished my meds but am still sick.  I hope the music is loud and takes up most of the show.  Otherwise we may have to give up our awesome seats in the 4th row front to a couple in the back row.  That way we can run out to the lobby when we start coughing.  I am not wearing heels because I will not be able to run in them.  Yeah, I need to work on that.  And it's wet and dreary and has been except for those 2 sunny days. 

Oddly, I am not depressed.  Just too run down to care.  Not that I don't care.  I mean....I probably do but just don't know it.  Um, yes.  Rambling is apparently a part of bronchitis. 

That's about it.  Kids are doing well as far as I know.  I do expect to be hearing from my son frequently because his wife's grandma is coming today and will be staying for about 2 weeks.  She is very critical of Jennifer but not in a mean way.  Like....well I can't explain it.  She is all Jennifer has left to take the place of her mom who died when Jenn was in her early 20's.  My son gets sooooo upset and protective of his wife.  But if he steps in, Jenn gets upset.  It's like she knows Nana is wrong in saying what she does but doesn't want to call her on it.  I have told John to let it go.  That if it reaches critical mass before he runs grandma over with a reindeer, he tells Jenn he isn't feeling well and to ask her to accompany him to the washroom where he can ask her in private if there is anything he can do or say to help her.  I also told him to call or text me and let out all his frustration that way. 
Uh.  Still rambling?  Sorry.  Will let you know if we get kicked out of the theater for coughing.  Perhaps we will even get arrested for disturbing the peace.

Speaking of which.....Maggot Maggie was back to humping her pink pillow in less than 24 hours of when we brought her home.  WTF! 

Wishing thankfulness could be the daily norm.

I have a headache.  A bad one but not a migraine.  So much noise.  Three very noisy kids.  Loud football on TV and 7 dogs.  But......it was a wonderful Thanksgiving.  Great meal and we played a board game later in the afternoon.  The weather was good too.  It's nice here.  No bugs, abundant sunshine and so many other things I can't count.  Problem is.....you have to change outfits every couple hours because the temps are crazy.  Cold then hot and repeat often through out the day.  This time of year it isn't so hot you have to put the air on and it isn't so cold that you have to put the heat on.   The roads are nice and well designed.  I enjoy driving around here.  'Course we haven't gone to the strip yet and I can tell you that when we do, I will not be driving.

Hope you all had a wonderful day.  We all have things to be grateful for.  I think we just need to be more aware of all the things we take for granted.

Peace.

At least now I know.

My daughter says that all the thoughts flying rapidly through my head are due to anxiety.  So...apparently I have traded in depression for anxiety.  It makes my head hurt.

I was having a good/interesting dream and wanted to finish it but cramps in my calves woke me up.

68 degrees out.  Tomorrow will be in the 30's.  The trees...they bow to the Royal Winds.

Yesterday was a blast!  I haven't laughed like that since....well I can't remember when.  I had to pull off on the shoulder I was laughing so hard.  It was awesome!

Burned hand between thumb and forefinger pouring hot coffee.  Yes, I ran it under cold water and it is OK now.

You know those candles that have wooden wicks?  They are supposed to crackle like logs in a fireplace.  They are made for those of who only wish they did have a fireplace.  Well,....mine doesn't crackle.  No fair.


The following picture are here due to the fact that I don't know what the hell I am doing.  But then....you all know that about me so......

"I'm leaving on a jet plane...."

And my ex (first husband) is taking me to the airport. Got my ticket and that's all I need. Gotta figure out what to bring as the temps vary from 50 - 80 degrees this time of year.  And their cold is colder and their heat is hotter.  On the plus side....Southwest airlines allows two checked bags, 1 carry on and like your purse or whatever will fit under the seat in front of you and it's all NO CHARGE!  Apparently most of the other airlines now charge for each and every bag as well as $4 here and $12 there for basics.  I am so excited!!!  Well except when I feel a little nervous about it.  Will be there for my daughter-in-laws favorite holiday - Thangsgiving.  And will also be there when Gaby ?? who won the Olympic um...like gymnast thing will be speaking at their church.

Maggie is growing by leaps and bounds.  She is getting better about biting and also listening.  She still loves to chew though.  Hope she is done teething soon.  And perhaps getting spayed the end of the month or early Dec. will calm her down a bit.  I know when I was spayed,...it didn't calm me down.  Er,...well..not spayed but.....

I am also going to try to do things a bit different here.  I am going to try to write only the good things Hunter does.  Yes, it will be difficult as I am going to have to also exclude the things good that he does that any normal person SHOULD/WOULD do.  I don't know how this will work because I seem to be a complainer and I am also one for writing when I am angry, depressed or feeling negative.  It is the same with poetry.  Mine is always sad.  I tried to write a "happy"  poem twice and they were both stupid -  I think because they weren't genuine feelings.

Anyway...it is a bit chilly out here  - my fingers are numb - and I have housework I want to do.  Peace and Love.

don't let the sun fool you

Thought I'd send out a quick one here.  It is sunny but the cool temps are here.  I don't know if we will get Indian Summer or if we already had it.  Maggie has had some bleeding from her mouth and it got on my duvet so I wanted to wash it and hang it out but I see hunter already has laundry in the washer.  I think I will take his clothes out and wash the duvet anyway.  I will also hang out the comforter just to freshen it.  We figure it's Maggie's teeth that caused the blood.  She is fine.  'Course it could also be because she likes to eat/chew-on the walnut shells that the squirrels leave behind. 

I will be working in the office today.  Several  months  weeks ago Hunter told me to clean all "my" papers off the desk.  My papers are just paid bill that I need to record and file.  So I just jammed them all in the file cabinet.  He said he was going to clean his all off the desk too.  You're right.  He didn't.  So today he asked me get the files and bill stubs in order.  I asked if the desk was all cleaned off.  He said yes.  I asked again to be sure that there wasn't anything on it.  He said just leave anything I don't understand right where it is.  Anything I don't understand???  Really?  I will move that crap because I deserve a clean desk to work on.  What he leaves on the desk is everything he gets in the mail like stuff from all this hunting places and weird shit and even the envelopes.  I will place it behind me on the guest bed and when I am done I will put it back. 

Yesterday I went out to the farm with him and Maggie.  He wanted to spread lime on the rototilled area where they plant their melons and squash.  I played catch with Maggie.  (tennis ball).  Was really windy and I think my face got windburned.  I am pretending it is a nice suntan.

So yeah, how boring is this post?  Just wanted you to know I am alive and well.  I haven't really taken the time to read posts either.  Hopefully tonight.

Peace.

Today it is sunny in Pleasantville.

Literally sunny!  And a breezy 70's.  I showered, dressed and-brace yourself-I even did my hair and make-up.  I have all the make-up in the world and never ever wear it.  Well, look at me now!  Yes, I am going to work in the yard and get dirty and all that fun stuff....but I am going to look damn good doing it!  In fact, if you are in front of me while I am bent over working....you will probably get a glimpse of the "golden globes."  Oh yeah!

Maggie is getting better with me.  Or perhaps it is I who is figuring out how to deal with her.  I give her firm no if she bites.  It may take a couple of nos but then she starts licking me and I praise her telling her, "Nice licky, Good girl."  Hunter took her out to the farm with him.  She needs to have all that running around.  Hunter had to bring the rototiller and it is damn heavy.  But said he didn't want me helping him lift it into the back of the truck.  See.  There are good things and I require very little in the way of kindness.  To be sure, I know it doesn't excuse all the crap behavior. 

So....I need to get to cutting down my ornamental grass.  Perhaps we can get it moved before winter sets in.  If not, then we will do it in the spring.  I am anxious to move it because where it is now shades way too many of the flowers I have there and I can then also plant other flowers.  I will only plant part of it in a new spot as it needs it.  But I saw the same grass in some one's yard with about a 24" round thing around it.  It held the grass in place.  I am going to try to think of what I can use for this.  Not like a peony cage but something solid.

I am actually feeling peace and joy today and so....I wish you the same.

Sadly, I can't say it out loud.

Today it was 63 degrees.  Tonight it will be in the brrr 40's.  Good thing I like the cold, right?  Was awake for a couple hours and then thought I would take a nap cuz I was brrr tired.  Then decided to tackle the office.  Ended up outside getting rid of dead perennials and that got me going.  Doesn't always work that way but today it did.  So I feel pain in my back good.  Didn't get around to moving my very tall ornamental grass.  It kind of shades too much of my circular flowerbed out front.  It grows to be the size of a big bush.  I love it and will plant it in the middle of my yard.  Sometimes after a hard downpour, it kind of "splits" down the middle.  I saw someone nearby that had about a 2' band of green whatever around it.  I want to do that, even though I like the fullness.  So I need to stop and inquire of this person just what it is that they have around it and if they leave it all year round or just put it up around the emerging growth each year.

Tomorrow is the last of Maggie's puppy check-ups, including shots.  We paid for the whole package up front so we would get a discount.  I am going to get up early so I can go with, not that it's that early but if I have to set and alarm, I don't sleep well. 

I think we are taking my Rendezvous to the wedding.  Much better gas mileage.  It will fit Maggie and all out stuff.  And there is a big adjustment to the wardrobe I intended to bring.  First of all....the wedding is "casual."  I know if it was Wisc. it would be Bibs, a flannel shirt and a purse full of beer....and that's just for the girls!  But St. Cloud Minn.?  Do I wear my Sorels?  Casual huh....perhaps flannel pj's?  Well, forget the dress I was going to wear.  It's pants and a blazer for me.  And maybe a St. Bernard with a cask of Brandy around it's neck.  WHAT?  If the cask matches my Sorels.....I'll be stylin'.   We'll be staying at their lake home.  Lake.  Should I bring my skates?  Will not be parlaying that into a trip out east so I can relax about that.  We will be stopping at Brian's farm to pick-up Hunter's meds that he left there.  I haven't been there in ages so I look forward to seeing what it's like now.  That way I can decide if I want to go up there with him when he goes again at the end of the month.  I doubt it.  You know.....if I could just pull myself away from the TV when he is gone, I would get alot done.  I am already bargaining with myself.  If I "work this day and that day then I can watch TV on these days.  Ha.  Who am I fooling?

We plan to go to a village meeting on the 20th that has to do with rezoning some houses in our village.  The main issue seems to be grandfathering older homes-like mine which is over 100 yrs. old. 
Here's the deal.  I don't know if this posted or not.  I keep losing my "labels"  Will try posting again.

Another Land.

The weather has been totally gorgeous lately.  I have been too absorbed in another land to have noticed it.  How sad.  I have not been aware of or grateful for the beauty.  I ran out to my daughter's yesterday because I had Meadow's school schedule in my purse from when we went to orientation.  Jeremy goes back to work Sunday-gone for 6 weeks at a time-and Dawn goes back on Monday.  The kids start school the 22nd.  They have the hotel rented until like the 29th.  Can't be into their townhouse until Sept. 1st.  Need to figure out what to do for those 2 days.  Dawn has a really good friend-several in fact-who will let them stay there.  Then I can help them get the things they need for now out of storage.  Will use my rendezvous and their SUV or what ever.  Ya know....it was much easier when it was just...the car, the truck or the van.  We, opps...I mean Hunter has a nice truck but I know he won't let me use it.  Jeremy will be back the end of Sept. to rent a u-haul to move the rest of the stuff out of storage and into the townhouse.  After that.....hopefully things will be on more of a even keel. 

And on a happier note......I do believe Hunter is leaving the end of the month to go to his friends farm.  He will be gone over a week and will have Maggie with him.  I would have my nervous breakdown then but I have to wait until Dawn is all settled.  Hmmmm.  Maybe I will wait until later in Sept. or October or November.  Actually I was kinda hoping my heart would explode while I was right here with Chuck, preferably when he was yelling at me.  I have that ascending aortic aneurysm and while that heart wall isn't quite thin enough to do surgery on yet.....it could happen anyway.  It's a case of weighing the benefits of surgery now or later. 

The drive home from Dawn's is a bit over 45 minutes.  There is construction and because I am so worn out and it's dark and they're  all these lights and construction barrels.....well it has become kind of a crap-shoot as to whether or not I will make it home alive.  It's a bit like driving through a weird dream.  As far as I know, I won't be going back there until Thursday because they will all be gone and I will need to stay with their dog Simon.  They are concerned that he may howl and bark and then they'd get kicked out of the hotel.  Also.....just to make it more interesting....they did get Dawn's old car to the hotel by jumping it but now it won't start again.  I don't think it's the battery.  I believe they need a new starter.  I am worried that it could be an electrical problem which would really suck.
I do need your help though.  Does anyone know where I can buy more strength?  Can I get it at Walmart?  Or do I have to go get it on a corner in the dark streets of Chicago.?  Maybe I should eat something.  Coffee isn't doing it.  Sleep isn't enough.

It's evening now.  I wrote the above this  morning.  Or was it yesterday?  Went and saw my friend Susan.  Then I went to Goodwill and got 2 lampshades.and a pair of shoes.  What?  I went to Kohl's.  I haven't been there in a long time and the prices seemed so high!  Three sweaters, a bra, two bracelets and a ring.  There may have been other things.  Dawn texted that if I was at one of my stores-thrift-that she was looking for jeans for the kids for school.  All denim was 25% off today.  I called to see how late they were open and made it there with only 30 minutes to shop.  I just got everything I could find in the sizes she needed.  Got 25% off the denim, 5% off with my card and another 25% off with my birthday savings card that they send me every year.  I will take them when I go there Thursday and have them try them on.  What ever doesn't fit or they don't like can be taken back.  Then since it was right there, I stopped at Walgreens.  Spend.  And that seems to be my drug of choice.  Sad.  But at least I feel better for now.  Tomorrow is church and I am debating whether or not I want to go.  I know I will cry.  Perhaps I will go and stay in the cry room.  It's a room that you take your baby into if the baby is acting up.  And you can still hear the service.

Ok.  Will go to desktop computer so I can play my game.
THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR COMMENTS ON LAST POST.  IT WARMS MY HEART.
Just found out that it was their battery so car is good!

Last on the List Again.

But that's ok.  He's not even on my list.  And my list is short.  Matters not as I will go my own way today.  We are taking Maggie to the vet this morning.  I will go along so I can ask my questions and also get the true answers as Hunter tends to get it wrong, or ignore it.  If  I don't go along he will get mad at any questions I have regarding the visit to the vet.  He's often says...."Go ask them/him or her yourself!"  He is unable to just communicate like an adult except on occasion with other people.  That is ...when he's not telling them what they should be doing or lying about what he himself has done.I

He can't wake me up today to tell me what to do.  I have been up since before 4 am.  Went to bed at about 6 pm.  Almost fell asleep coming home from my therapist.  Truly, I was nodding off.  So I made dinner immediately when I got home and also took my clothes off the line.  That was all I could manage.  Will do the rest today.  See?  When I get awaken-especially without enough sleep- I am walking through my day halfway awake.

I made the coffee and walked Maggie around the block.  I guess that was the wrong thing to do-according to the "lord and master" of the world-as he needed a stool sample to bring to the vet.  Well she pooped twice for me.  I picked up the one and threw it in the trash-in a bag-and left the other one as it was at the corner house that is abandoned and has very tall grass.  He's like...we can pick that up to take to the vet.  Hm.  I told him to just take the one that's already in the bag, in the trash cart.  It was so funny when I let Maggie out of her kennel.  She ran to her dish to look for food as I ran to the leash to take her outside.  Ha!  I win! 

I may just start going to bed at 6pm every evening.  There is one benifit that I really appreciate.  It is 63 degrees out!!!!  Will be in the upper 80's again today so I am definetly enjoying this.

I need to thank all of you that commented on the post about me being nobody's anything.  They meant so much to me.  I don't know if you can understand the depth of my gratitude.  Filled me with teary-eyed JOY!

OK.  I know I didn't spell everything correctly but when I hit spell-check, it gave me the message that spell-check isn't working correctly and to try again, which I did.  Still no response.  Feel free to take out your red pencil, cross out the wrong words and send it back to me.  I will try to correct my errors.

Boring things.

Sore throat.  Not enough regular sleep.  Puppy  .Big storm. 1.3" rain.  Looks like it could rain again.  Power out 10 hours.  Wanting to sleep to escape again.  What's that all about?  Maggie has coccidia?  Medicine.  New collar-blaze orange, of course.  Leash.  Stye or something weird inside my lower eyelid.  Will have Hunter check it out.  Much cooler right this minute.  Mostly 90's for the next 10 days.  What am I s'posed to do with that?  The hell!  Is that a mosquito on my arm?  New cable boxes to program.  We do everything it says and all remote responses are as they should be.  Right up until the last one.  Am trying to get Hunter to get his tech savvy son over here.  HA!  Tomorrow is yard work.  Raking bark, twigs and leaves off the yard so I can mow.  Saturday is dinner and a play with friends.  We'll bring Maggie and her new cage.  Oh, I am sure she'll love that.  Then I am trying to get together with my son one last time before they leave.  House is a fairly empty but disheveled mess.  So.........chocolate it is!

The magic of cigarettes.

I haven't had one since before dinner yesterday.  It's almost noon.  I am out of smokes because of the "allowance" thing.  I sit here thinking which jewelry I can turn into cash to buy more cigs.  Here's the thing.....-and I am not assigning blame-...but why of all times does Hunter have to pick now to be an utter fuckhead?  Is it because it's hot?  I'm hot too!  Is it because of puppy care?  I do this too.  And then my head goes back to other things.  Like how he says I don't know how to drive.  This must be recent.  How I don't cook for him....yet everything I take out to make...even if I tell him and he says ok, he ends up changing it to something else.  Yes,....he grills it but all I am saying is...don't tell me I don't cook.  He is insistent that I fill that little 'moat' on the top of the hummingbird feeder with water.  Got on me about it again.  "I told you to do it yesterday.'  So I got up and did it.  BTW, he had just come out on the front porch with a cup of coffee and I thought he was going to sit and talk with me.  I was on-line looking at a dog sight and had begun to tell him a cool thing I read and that is when he interrupts me about this fucking water thing. 
Enter Sarcasm...."Gee, I'll get right on that even though I haven't seen any ants in there."
And Sarcasm plus passive/aggressiveness are my super powers.  I seem to have a problem being direct.  And Hunter is unable to have an adult conversation with me.  My only option would have been to respond with a simple "Ok, I will."  Or....(false stupidity thus making a man feel smart) saying....."What is the water for?"  His answer will take a very circuitous route to come to an incorrect conclusion or if I had asked if it is for such and such......he will immediately say no and then go into this whole thing that has nothing to do with anything winding up saying the very same thing I had said in the beginning.

I do not think I am smarter than anyone.  But.......I can admit it.  If I am wrong,....Please correct me.  I want to know.  I want to learn. I want to be better.  I want a fucking cigarette so I don't kill this poor man who struggles to breath and is afraid of his mortality. 

I already feel physically better.  Truly.  It isn't in my head. I don't want to smoke. I think keeping my distance from Hunter is key.  We are two peas in a pod but whereas I grow in the garden......his 'pod' was beamed down from an alien space ship.

Should have posted this last night.

I was over it last night.  Sitting 30 minutes at a dead stand still on the tollway gave me time to think.  Then to see the cause of the delay,.....a 2 car accident in which one car burned and the other was rolled over into oblivion kinda puts things into perspective.  I was sure no one could survive but I checked on line and saw that one person was air-lifted to the hospital where my daughter works (serious burns).  And four other people were taken by ambulance to area hospitals, none of their injuries were determined to be life threatening.  Prayers do work.

It is finally not in the 100's or even in the 90's today. Notice I did not say cooler because 80 degrees is still too warm for me.  There is a 15 MPH breeze.  Still too warm/humid to open up and turn off the air conditioner.  We did open up last night though. Will probably open up tonight too because it is s'pose to be in the 60's.  That alone is cause for celebration!

Josh's party was really fun!  Dawn's kids canceled at the last minute.  Remember the bad blood between her and her brother's wife.  Everyone was pissed including me.  But later I texted my daughter and they went to her husband's sister's to celebrate the 4th of July which they had cancelled due to the excessive heat.  And a good part of this is due to lack of communication on the part of my daughter, my son and their dad.  Especially my daughter and my ex.  Odd considering that I communicate honestly, openly and directly.  Not my problem, (thanks Mary/my therapist.)  The kids were on the slip and slide when I got there.  Then they came in and we ate - Jennifer's awesome chili - because that's what  Josh wanted.  They went outside where an extremely creative obstacle course was set up and the kids were timed.  John and Jenn come up with the most amazing things for the kids to do!  They play Iron Chef and that Minute to Win It show.  My husband did ask me why I was mad as I left yesterday saying he can't read my mind.  This is a true expectation that women have of their men.  It's like, "They should just know!"  It is a miracle that he even asked that. My bad that I was too mad to even tell him.  I am not excusing his behavior that I wrote about last night.  I am just saying........  He also called telling me not to take the toll road home as they were still investigating the accident scene.  And he told me to drive safe.  See how easy it is to please me?  I am not a difficult or demanding person.

We went to church this morning though we almost didn''t because his breathing was bad.  He gets this clumps of phlegm in his throat that he can't get out.  He did call his son and cancel.  Best for all concerned.  Hunter feeling sick and Matt and family flying out tonight.

So....tomorrow is the dentist which isn't really bad.  I often just want to go to sleep with him in the chair.  And I feel so good once I am done.  Then psych for a med check then will call my friend -who is visiting from Arizona - to have her and her husband come out to visit.

Nothing new and perhaps boring for readers but it is my diary and......that's how I roll!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOSHUA!