Epic Fail.

Not exactly epic.  But just stupid.  I felt great physically for the 24 hours I quit.  And I blame no one but myself.  It's just that living with Hunter......so much makes me angry.  And there really isn't anything that should make me angry and yes.....I will try again to quit.  Watching a movie in "his" kitchen on "his" TV.  He's like all, "That's not real. "  and  "that wouldn't happen."  It was just a movie.  A movie that makes girls cry because of the sweetness. Had he been gone, I would have sat all day and watched all those movies-chick flicks if you must-and smoke and cry.  It's a good type of cry. There were a few other things and it just bugs me.  So after the movie I turned on one of his "reality" shows.  Yeah, you know those reality shows.  They are all pretty much choreographed..  So then he asked me to get a bucket so he could soak his feet so I could cut his toenails.  Have I ever told you that feet are the one body part that grosses me out?!  Not my feet but other's feet.  But after the three packs of cigs I just bought,....I need to quit and work out.  Lose weight and get in shape so I can run away to a friend's house even though way too many people live there and there's only one bathroom, I SHIT YOU NOT!  I have no problem with going potty outside and showering with a hose and even being groped.  And I know this sweetheart would take me in.  I can sleep on the floor or even outside. Trust me, I am low maintenance. Hunter and I don't exactly make the best couple even though I know what he's going to say even before he does.  I am intuitive and that includes other people's feelings.

It's just that I am comfortable out here in the garage with all of you nice people.  It is safe from mean or even just little things that pierce my heart.  Yes I am too sensitive.  Tried to change that. Tried to wish it away.  But if indeed God would harden my heart, I know it would be the wrong thing to do because I would miss out on so many beautiful things and moments that I know others miss.

Daughter's husband was allowed to come home after training.  Yay!  She will have a great Mother's Day after all.

Happy Mother's Day to all of you.  My mom is deceased but I will think of her just the  same.