Saturday, May 12, 2012

Epic Fail.

Not exactly epic.  But just stupid.  I felt great physically for the 24 hours I quit.  And I blame no one but myself.  It's just that living with Hunter......so much makes me angry.  And there really isn't anything that should make me angry and yes.....I will try again to quit.  Watching a movie in "his" kitchen on "his" TV.  He's like all, "That's not real. "  and  "that wouldn't happen."  It was just a movie.  A movie that makes girls cry because of the sweetness. Had he been gone, I would have sat all day and watched all those movies-chick flicks if you must-and smoke and cry.  It's a good type of cry. There were a few other things and it just bugs me.  So after the movie I turned on one of his "reality" shows.  Yeah, you know those reality shows.  They are all pretty much choreographed..  So then he asked me to get a bucket so he could soak his feet so I could cut his toenails.  Have I ever told you that feet are the one body part that grosses me out?!  Not my feet but other's feet.  But after the three packs of cigs I just bought,....I need to quit and work out.  Lose weight and get in shape so I can run away to a friend's house even though way too many people live there and there's only one bathroom, I SHIT YOU NOT!  I have no problem with going potty outside and showering with a hose and even being groped.  And I know this sweetheart would take me in.  I can sleep on the floor or even outside. Trust me, I am low maintenance. Hunter and I don't exactly make the best couple even though I know what he's going to say even before he does.  I am intuitive and that includes other people's feelings.

It's just that I am comfortable out here in the garage with all of you nice people.  It is safe from mean or even just little things that pierce my heart.  Yes I am too sensitive.  Tried to change that. Tried to wish it away.  But if indeed God would harden my heart, I know it would be the wrong thing to do because I would miss out on so many beautiful things and moments that I know others miss.

Daughter's husband was allowed to come home after training.  Yay!  She will have a great Mother's Day after all.

Happy Mother's Day to all of you.  My mom is deceased but I will think of her just the  same.

11 comments:

Wanda's Wings said...

I am happy for your daughter. Yes you do have a tender heart and that makes you special.

Coffeypot said...

So take all the packs and throw them away. Start over and stick to it. You don't need to show The Hunter that you are willing to kill yourself just to show him. Stupid. And tell him to get his own pan and piss in it. You won't cut this nails.

Lynda said...

Hi. I just stopped by for a visit because you always write such wonderful comments on my blog and I thought I would return the visit. You sound like a Highly Sensitive person {yay for us!} that hasn't found her wings yet. Trust yourself and trust your wings! Once you learn to use your Highly Sensitive skills it will become like a sixth sense. And once you believe in your own worth then you can trust your wings. P.s. I am writing this because I had a very depressing day yesterday so I also needed to remind myself to trust my wings and believe in myself. Be Brave! Use your wings and no one can hold you down!

R. Jacob said...

one day is not epic. there is always up and downs.

Matt said...

I wish my mom would quit smoking, been 20+ years. Only a matter of time before she gets cancer or something like that.

Ioana-Carmen said...

Sweetie u are so sweet! Can we follow each other? Kisses from Romania!

FashionSpot.ro

Henrietta Collins (aka Kage) said...

i too am way too sensitive. sometimes i think about how much further in life and more successful i would be if i could just overcome that little quirk, but it's like you said: if we hardened our hearts, we would miss out on those special moments that only we seem to feel :)

Gnetch said...

Happy mothers' day! You're right. It's better to be sensitive because you will be able to appreciate the good things.

:)

Copyboy said...

I agree. Consider this an epic skip.

Just Be Real said...

Thank you for sharing Middle and hope that you had a good Mother's Day. Hugs.

WhisperingWriter said...

Happy Mother's Day to you!