My oldest grandson Cain just turned 18 and got a tattoo. I am fine with that. But.....it is called the cross of confusion. It is not a good thing. He is smart and he had to have known what it meant. If he is kind of sitting on the fence about believing.....well, that's just not something you get a permanent tattoo of. I am very saddened by this. He had it posted on facebook but has since taken it down. There must be a reason. He is not someone who will readily talk about anything. (None of my daughter's kids are.)
Yesterday at the track meet-as always when I am with Dawn and her family-I feel invisible. I am sure it is just my perception. I know the kids always ask mom if Granny is coming.
Let's add a shit-ton of rain and darkness and I am in the depression pit again. On the bright side....at least I am not in that mental state of feeling blank.
I have sooooo given up on ever having a home. I am afraid to get rid of all my stuff because I might need to sell it to get money to live-although I realize that I am probably thinking exaggeratedly. Than there is the true knowledge that I will still be living in a house with holes in the walls and floors and ripped up carpeting and uninsulated windows decorated by all manner of taxidermy.
And yes.....I am aware that this is nothing compared to those who are suffering due to the terrible tragedies that just keep coming. Innocent people. So many innocent, good people suffering needlessly. Why? What is wrong with people? So much evil in the world today. I hate it. I hate that there is nothing I can do about it but pray.