At least I got the most awesome gif.....er wait, I didn't get anything. Actually, I got the baby Jesus and there is no better gift.
And the Christmas we had when I was at my son's in Nov/Dec truly was wonderful.
Christmas eve at Chuck's "cousins" was so much fun. But in my mind-not reality-I feel like I don't belong. I feel like Chuck and I are intruding on that families Christmas. They had their house remodeled and it is beautiful. It was beautiful before. My house is about as far from being a home as you can get. The cousin that hosted the evening is married to her one and only husband and they are so close to their 2 daughters who are in their late 20's. I long to be adopted by them. It's always fun and laughter. I mean, the family that drinks together stays together, right? And I don't mean that in a bad way. They are all healthy and happy and active.
So, I couldn't use my kitchen for the past three days. I had intended to make my mom's Turkey Tetrazzini that is to die for yesterday. Chuck knew this. Instead, he made shrimp and a friend he invited over for Christmas dinner brought beef tips that he had grilled. They were soooo good! And God bless Chuck that he invited George. While he is always sloshed-well beyond that actually-he is the best guy! Then another guy from down the street brought over a pizza that he had made on his grill. Just dropped it off and went back home to his company.
So today I was starting to prepare the tetrazzini and all of a sudden he is in there making oysters. "You don't need the oven do you?" Really?
Tomorrow I am making it and also the lasagna. I don't care if he eats it or not. And if/when he shoves me out of the way with a proprietary "S'cuse me," I will be shoving back hard.
I woke up with my immediate panic/anxiety of having to start another day. There's no reason for this and the feeling goes away as soon as I actually get out of bed. I felt good for a change and had alot of things I wanted to do - I'm talking household chores. Didn't take long before the orders, suggestions, etc. started coming. I instantly feel defeated. I told him the things I was planning to accomplish and somehow it turned into him telling me to re-read the marriage papers. WTF! I didn't even know how to respond to that. Like is he talking about OBEY? I took 2 Xanax and began my day.
So.....we sent Dawn, her husband and kids cards with $50 cash in them. Immediately Nathan texted me a thank-you. Dawn is almost 39. Jer is almost 39. Cain will be 18 in April. Nate just turned 16. Meadow will be 13. I wrote special notes to them also. I asked Dawn if the kids got theirs. She did said she didn't know. And had I not texted Merry Christmas to Dawn, I don't think she would have thanked me.
God Bless Nathan. He is thoughtful and caring. He-like me-is the middlechild. We are the peacemakers.
Don't think I have nothing left to complain about. Stay tuned. You know something will come up.
Hope you all had a Christmas full of family and fun. alcohol