Friday, July 20, 2012

Rare But Effective.

And so today I have my WAR DEPARTMENT face on.  Better watch your shit or I will kill you!!!!!  A soldier trumps a hunter any day.  I will win so.......bring it!!!!  And no.  This isn't a guest post.

"We'll get up early and get the yard raked and mowed."  Now anytime I hear the words 'get up early' , that makes me unsettled.  I get a call up the stairs that Hunter is going out to the farm this morning and that Maggie has been out and peed and did I want him to put her in the bathroom.  I said no.  Can anyone tell me why he had to wake me up to tell me this?  So I am awake and he is gone.  I went down to do laundry and he has a 5 gallon plsc. pail in the laundry tub that our water from the washer drains into.  I couldn't lift the pail.  Well I'm sure I could have, being a warrior and all. But it was full of water to the top aaaaand, there was a water melon in it.  And I was told by the Cardio/Thorasic surgeon not to be lifting heavy things.
Hunter comes home and I see he is loaning our yard waste cart to the neighbor.   Really? And where am I supposed to but all the crap I am raking up?  Bend over baby.  I know where I'd like to put the twigs and bark. 
I told him to get that pail out of the sink.  Then I started my raking and he says, "I thought you were doing laundry."  I asked if he got the bucket out of the sink yet.  He said no so I got to raking.  I started smelling this incredible food cooking and wondered who was cooking.  Found out it was Hunter.  I was in the front of the house.  The kitchen is in the back of the house.  We have the windows closed and the air conditioning on.  How could the smell be so strong?  *insert sarcasm here* Is it because the new windows were never trimmed inside?  It's only been about 2 months since Hunter and his friend installed them.  Aaaand we found out how the bats get in the house.  Two of our windows have a screen on only the one side.  When the window is opened on that side, there is nothing to prevent bugs and sneaky bats from flying in the gap between the the windows. 

I may go grocery shopping.  What do you guys think about me making a nice stew seasoned with     D-con? 

I told Hunter that I'd decided  not to mow because the mowers are buried in the garage.  It is summer.  Am I the only one who thinks the mower should be readily available?  There I go thinking like a girl again.  He knows I am pissed.  He said he would get the mower out for me.  I will see if he does.  If not, then he and Maggie can just go outside and chew the longer blades of grass right up!  He also wants me to start alternating between the two mowers.  I love the old one. It is small and fits in all the little spaces.  I do not like the new one.  He bought it for me when he was in Wisconsin.  Um....what?  I didn't know he was going to do this.  It is too big.  It is self propelled and flies so fast that a smaller person would trail behind it like a streamer!  And cup holder?  Nice touch.  Wonder which one of his'boyfriends' told him to buy that one?  Did I mention that my yard is small?

Enough.  I have to review my battle plan.


My name WAS Female, I shit you not! said...

OM GAWD! And I thought I was alone in "CRAZY."We have one entire bedroom dumped into the parlor( remodeling it from floor supports UP ),diningroom and kitchen.Just paths to get through and Hospice arrived and is having to wind their way to hubby. You have your own "CRAZY" too Karen.(((hugs)))Pat

Wanda's Wings said...

Way to much to deal with!

The Bipolar Diva said...

D-Con. I may have to remember that.

Ms. A said...

It's about time!

Rob-bear said...

Hunter takes off, and you get nothing done, while finding something that needed to be done to the windows, and. . . .


Anonymous said...

Bats carry rabies right?? Now we just have to find out what attracts bats and smear it like lotion all over the Hunter's body.

Battle Plan complete.

You are welcome.