Sunday, June 17, 2012

I wish it would rain money.

Instead, it is raining bullshit.  Can you imagine what that's doing to my umbrella?  "What?"  Oh.  Of course I go barefoot.  I wouldn't dare wreck any of my shoes!  I may be messed up but I am not stupid.  On the way to church this morning I started talking about getting all the kids together for a group picture of all the grandkids.  Talking.  Hunter had said he would pay for my son and daughter's kids to come with us wherever we end up meeting Matt and Deb while they are here.  He told me the last e-mail from them was totally wrong and that he'd talk to Matt.  Then he's telling me to call Deb.  I said ok, where are we meeting up with them?  Told me to call Deb and TELL her where to be.  I don't TELL anyone anything.  We talk and come up with an agreement.  Then he's saying he won't pay for my son and daughter's kids to come to the Dells or to dinner with us.  "Their parents can pay!!!"  Um,  #1 - John and Jenn are on disability.  #2 - Dawn and Jer are losing their house.  He said he didn't want to have this argument because he had to get to church because he had to fill in as an usher-which he's done a million times before.  I thought we were having a discussion.  Hm.  So I dropped it.  Did I mention we were going to church?    Church.  Where I go to worship God.  Where he goes because he is supposed to.  Now I can't speak to his relationship with God.  But seriously?  So when we got to church it was very early so  I sat in the car and texted Deb and told her everything.  After church he brought it up and I told him I had talked to Deb so now he can call Matt and figure out where we would meet them at.
When we got back from church he went upstairs and I came in with am armful of stuff and promptly tripped on something and fell knocking off pans and all kinds of things.  As I assessed myself, I put down what was still left in my hands and slowly got up to be sure I was ok.  As I was slowly getting up Hunter came down and after a bit asked if I was ok.  I told him I was fine.  My knee promptly got a huge knot on it.  On the plus was by bad knee so yay!  I still have a good knee!!!!  I made eggs, venison/pork or goose shit sausage that he'd make and toast.  In between cooking, I iced my knee.  He never even said a word.  Yes you men out there....I did tell him I was fine and yes I know you you all can't read our minds but a caring intelligent guy would have noticed and said something.

So I did my escapism thing of going to sleep.  I was actually falling asleep anyway so I thought might as well sleep in a cozy bed, right?  He was already feeling remorse as far as is possible for him.  I slept 3-9pm.  In the mean time I guess he called Matt and while he wouldn't tell me what they agreed on, he waid I was to call Deb.  I told him I already did before church.  He said he told Matt that he'd have me call up Deb to see when we could get together for a picture of all the grandkids. ARGGGG!!!!  We have come full circle and are back to where we started.  I called Deb and we talked a long time and decided we would plan that dinner at Dave and Buster's and take it from there.  So.....I guess if I make enough money at the garage sale, to pay Hunter back for the cigs I charged as he will chop my head off when he gets the bill and also enough to last me 'till I get my next $28 a week allowance for the first week in July and assuming I have enough money left over after going to the flea market with my son and DIL and their kids.....(We BOTH love going there!!!!)  Then if I can get my kids together and if Jenn's van will fit 3 adults and 5 kids, this may come to fruition.  Here's the thing.  This is very simple and it the only thing I have really, really wanted.  And look at what a mess this has become because of Hunter and his ever changing mind.  Fuck him.  Yeah, we did go to church this morning but since God already heard me think this....he can't mind me saying it aloud to you.

Sorry this is just another WTF post.  But it helps me get it out.  I will also not count on him to help with the garage sale.  He is not consistent nor is he trust worthy nor does he keep promises.

Why do I stay?  Because it has yet to rain money.  There may come a time when I would rather be homeless and stand by a barrel of fire to keep warm and eat out of dumpsters.  Hey, it's got to be better than eating the weird shit he concocts, right?

BTW, I am NOT going to Aaron's to make exploding homemade rootbeer that tastes like shit. I will let Hunter go alone and have some "bonding" time with Aaron for Father's day.  I will stay here and mow and work on the garage sale stuff with out him questioning everything I do and since he will be gone......I will be able to use not only my kitchen, but also my washing machine!  YAY!


My name WAS Female, I shit you not! said...

It's the same reason a lot of us women stay ( even after the kids are grown )....we keep hoping THEY will change and things will be different. THEN...there is the financial part and THEN....CHANGE IS SCAREY. sighhhh
We all have OUR REASONS and they make good sense TO US!
Love dies a hard death. Sighs and more sighs.:0(
$28 freakin bucks???? Does he have an allowance too? Yeah...I already know the answer to THAT!
(((hugs))) and MORE(((hugs)))Pat

Kristy said...

It is ok to vent. I would vent and have an anxiety attack if this was happening to me.

Unknown said...

never overlook the joys of a washing machine!

Red Shoes said...

'Goose Shit Sausage?'

It's ok to vent, but I can assure you that he isn't going to change.

People don't change...

I kept waiting, I guess, for my then-wife to love me as I loved her.

It simply didn't happen...


AiringMyLaundry said...

Raining money would rock. I hear ya.

Vent away. It helps.

The Bipolar Diva said...

we need a money thunderstorm! Sorry things are so bad :(

bj said...

O, little middle heart aches for you having to go thru this. Life SHOULD be better for you. It's waaay too short to put up with crap.
I am ashamed of myself are going thru serious stuff here and I am freakin' out because I am about to be ON CAMERA, as a rep for Girard's Salad Dressings that I had NO idea what the heck it was all about when they contacted me. I thought I was just supposed to endorse their body said squat about being ON CAMERA, on A BLOG SITE. I just came in from working in the yard, sweaty, hair stuck to my head like glue cause I wore a cap for 4 hours. Holy cow..I only have 10 minutes to get ready and here I am talking to you...