Thursday, May 10, 2012

Hit By Truck?

Was so tired last night that I had to go to bed at 7:30.  Not depressed tired, just felt like I didn't go to sleep, I would fall down where I stood.  I didn't feel good yet I have no symptoms that I was aware of.  As a result, I woke up at 3:30 and got on the computer. Had to decide if I wanted to stay up or go back to bed.  Why I don't go back to bed, I don't understand.  I know that would be best.  Perhaps I just had to get my nightmares out of my head.  Doesn't matter as when I went back to bed I ended up with even worst nightmares.  I am tired.  It seems as though the nightmares make me even more tired.  Is that possible?

Still more laundry to do and I also want to weed.  I am not interested in gardening this year and if you knew me, you would be greatly surprised.  We get this creeping Charlie-some call it creeping Jenny.  Which ever, it's a bitch to get rid of.  And my knees no longer co-operate.  I am usually planting annuals and new perennials by now.  Bah.  Haven't even bought any.  Also want to box up tons of stuff to take to church for their annual sale.  Even the good stuff.  Murano glass.  McCoy pottery, antiques and tons of cool crap.  I will not have another garage sale.  Have done way too many of them.  WAY too many.   I could take some to the E-bay store  but isn't everything Craig's list now?  I feel good about this as God seems to be telling me that if I want to simplify my life and make this house a home.  That is what I want.   No boxes to trip over.  And perhaps this will encourage Hunter to repair the walls and such.

Two more packs of smokes and I am done.  Ready to become a bitch on wheels.  Well ok, first I will become a bitch on feet until I get some breathing abilities back.  And hopefully by then, the urge to become a bitch will have left me.  I don't expect it to cure my depression but it has to help.  Wish me luck.   Peace.

8 comments:

Loretta said...

Yeah it is...I have them bad too! When I can sleep...I do so whenever, whereever. What else can one do! Can it get any worse?

Wanda's Wings said...

I hate bad dreams! They rally mess up the night. Sounds like your are keeping on top of everything in-spite of all that is going on. Just want to thank you for all your support. It means a lot to me.

Ms. A said...

Wishing you the best of luck not smoking.

My name WAS Female, I shit you not! said...

Oh, I DO, I DO ! Best of Luck m/f.
Are you quitting Cold Turkey?

You are giving away perfectly good shit too??? In my wildest dreams, I can't imagine me doing that.THAT would be my nightmare. Takes lots of guts or whatever I don't have.
(((hugs)))Pat

The Bipolar Diva said...

nightmares are exhausting!!

Rebecca said...

Sweet Middle Child, I wish you so much more than "luck". I pray for your peace - inside and out!

I sure wish I lived close to you! I'd take some of that stuff off your hands :) Of course, then I'D be the one feeling like I was "hit by a truck"!


You can DO this. Yes, you can.

A Daft Scots Lass said...

I did this 18 months ago. Cold Turkey. I will tell you its not easy but its the best thing I did for my health.

You can fucking do it!

N.B. Mama said...

I suppose being a bitch is better than lung problems, eh? Good luck! I believe in you.