Monday, February 7, 2011

Underwire bras and Trojans.

So I wake up in a really pissy mood AGAIN! What's with that? My emotion of choice is depression, not get outta my way you fucker or I'll blow your head off. Speaking of blow,....the dentist is going through a divorce and seemed extra hor,...Um,..talkative. So, I was glad I wore my underwire bra. Yeah, he's THAT cute. And today he was really friendly. What? Well, how many of you have bandied about sexual terms, whips etc. with your dentist? I know, right? 'Course this could have just been a distraction from all the bullshit I was going through.

The crown was defective. We got that part. The first shot of novacaine set off a mild flutter in my chest almost immediately and no,..I wasn't nervous nor reacting to the imagined sexual tension. No numbness. At least I got a cookie. What the What? The 2nd shot didn't do a thing. Dentist decided the batch was defective or expired. Um-hm. Got a fresh batch and it finally worked. I did again get that fluttering but it was milder than the other time. He said that sometimes it goes into a vein. I love it when I learn new things! You with me so far? You've experienced the same things? Well,....while I know many have much worse dental problems but try this one,.........I felt a tugging on the left side of my head. OMG! Are you serious? My hair had gotten stuck in the spit sucker out thingie. And instead of trying to turn it off, she keeps pulling and I'm thinking it's just tangled in something-mind you, at this point I wasn't really sure what was going on. So my mouth is full of cotton and hands and sharp things so I did the only thing I could think of - I made a scissors motion with my hand to let her know to just cut my hair off of whatever was trying to rip my hair out and maybe even suck my brains out. Ha! The joke would be on them..My brains are rotten.

And my Xanax STILL hasn't arrived!!!!!

And the Trojan thing? Well the dentist was trying to figure out who gave who the Trojan Horse.

19 comments:

♥ Yaya said...

OMG I was LOL at the "scissor motion with my hand" thing! Glad you saved your brains!

Coffeypot said...

I think you should ask him to fill your cavity. And if he wants to use Nitrous Oxide too, great.

The Minute Man's Wife said...

Catchy title!! You're too frigging cute!!

On My Soapbox said...

You get cookies from your dentist? All I get is a new toothbrush and a travel-sized toothpaste. He is cute, though.

StephanieC | Seriously? Really?? Seriously? said...

Did they get the novocain-ed sign language, or were you forced to lose a chunk of hair?

Inquiring minds need to know?! Is there a bald spot?

And just how hot IS dentist?

Dazee Dreamer said...

God Coffeypot cracks me up.

Hey, I'm all for a little sexual inuendo with the dentist. so, what coffeypot said. :)

Jenner said...

What a riot... I wish my visits to the dentist were half as entertaining!!

Vic said...

bahahaha....i haven't been to the dentist in a while...maybe it's time...LOL and i'll be sure to wear an under wire:)

Daffy said...

I totally needed that giggle today. I REALLY need a new dentist. Mine is not hot and certainly doesn't make my chest fluttery....

KittyCat said...

I hate dentists!!!!

You had me at "trojan".
I so thought we were gonna talk about sex today.

Am I Really Grown Up? said...

My dentist is gay so no flirting for me:)

Olive Cooper said...

Get a new dentist please...no matter how hot he is there is some unprofessionalism going on there. Expired meds are very bad. I am a RN and used to run a large medical practice and all that just sounds off. Plus I know you paid a lot for your crown.

xinex said...

I hate going to the dentist no matter how cute he is.I thought Nitrous oxide would relax me so I asked for it once but I got dizzy and threw up so nver again, lol! I hope your hair is ok, along with your tooth.....Christine

♥Bleah♥Briann♥ said...

I am sick. I have been since July. I don't know what it is. I've stopped things... strted things. Nothing seems to be causing it. I've had my cat for almost 7 years. I doubt it's her. :/

I dunno what it is. But thanks alot for the comment! :)

John McElveen said...

LOL! I will wear an underwire Bra on my next visit--just for giggles! He be drillin my fillin.

Won't work though as we went to College together!

J

Linda Medrano said...

Dayam! I need to go in next week. My dentist is a darling big Norwegian guy and I love him. But I don't want to "love" him if you know what I mean. You rock! Any woman who has her dentist being a horndog is my kind of girl.

lvroftiques said...

Oh yeah? Well my oral surgeon said I needed to have part of my gum cut away from the tooth because of infection (Isn't that a pretty picture?) But wait...it gets better! He then proceeds to numb me up and cut said chunk from around my tooth and tosses it in a fish tank right next to my chair. Turns out it's full of pirhanas. I sh&%^t you not! I couldn't make this stuff up. Then he sends me a bill for $200 for charges that my insurance didn't cover. I sent him back a note with a few choice expletives and that was the end of that.
Ok sorry about the long sad oral story *winks* Yours had me cracking up AND relating! Helloooo My hair is coming out of my head!! Clueeeee please!! *winks* Vanna

lvroftiques said...

MC I swear on a stack of bibles it really did happen!! Your comment had me spitting tea out my nose! Thanks for having my back sistah friend! I can tell I'm gonna love your blog....you might just be the younger smarter undoubtedly more beautiful me. Vanna

Aunt Juicebox said...

ROFL I'm sorry, I shouldn't laugh...:D

I had some work done on a tooth a few months ago, that STILL effing hurts every time I bite down, and it's NOT supposed to do that. Sigh.