I should have been a hooker!

I would totally be able to "work" if I could do so from my bed. I am still so exhausted and it is getting worse.  Have been helping daughter during this eviction thing.  Yesterday they moved into their townhouse.  Needs MAJOR cleaning.  Bah.  I don't even clean my own house.  Too tired.  I need to mow before the village fines me.  I need milk....hey!  Why doesn't the milkman come any more and just put the milk in that silver-colored lidded box by the back door?  I s'pose it was the fact that so many kids being born looked like the milkman.  Laundry?  Why?  I spend all my day in my nightgown when I am fortunate enough to get a day at home to myself.

What am I gonna do about this?  First I will wait to hear from the Cardio-Thorasic surgeon about the C.T. I just had.  Then - assuming all is the same - I will quit smoking and start eating the way a II Diabetic should eat.  I also need the doctor the draw some blood and check this Thyroid crap.  He put me on Synthyroid even though I still have my entire Thyroid.  He put me on it  because of the nodules.  

Life is just stupid.  One of these days my daughter and I are going to take a drive and crash into a pillar going 90 miles and hour.  I have just the right one picked out.

This Following is a Public Service Anouncement

Attention Home Owners!  Are you out of work and unable to make your mortgage payments?  Have you been unable to get help from your bank or the government?  Are you facing foreclosure?  We may be able to help you.  There are secrets the Government DOES NOT WANT YOU TO KNOW.  I am sure you are living in fear, wondering when you will finally be asked to leave your home.  We have found that the worst thing you can do is get a job! Yes you heard us correctly.  Once you have finally secured employment you will receive an eviction notice within two to four weeks after beginning your job.  Yes.  As incredible as it seems, it is a fact.

Please call our law firm.  Dewey, Cheetum and Howe.  see what we can do for you.

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This time it is my ex-husband (age 61) and his wife (age 72).   He is the father of my children including my daughter who was just evicted Aug.15th.

I went to have my blood work done yesterday and will have my C.T. Thursday.  Tomorrow I spent the whole day at the hotel where my daughter is staying so I can take care of the dog.  Not sure what will come after that.  As far as I know....she still won't be able to get into the townhouse until Sept. 1st.  I know we will be moving stuff and cleaning beginning Sunday at the latest.  I have been exhausted the past two days and can't imagine how I will feel during this moving process.   We will not have to move much..  Most will stay in storage until Jeremy comes home and can rent u-haul to move the rest.  That should be somewhere near the end of Sept.  Dawn and I will only be going to the storage units to get the main things like mattresses and such.

Hunter was gone fishing overnight and will be home this afternoon.  Then he leaves again tomorrow and will be gone about 2 weeks.  I would like to get some stuff done.  I need energy.  I think I need speed.  That's what we called it in the old days.  Gives you incredible energy and also helps you lose weight.  Hook me up?

Peace.    

Mini Meltdown.

LOTTA JOY - You were right about the denial.  Mine.
I wasn't feeling the best yesterday.    Went to bed at 11:15 pm.  Laid there for about an hour.  Body ached and I was all tensed up.  Mind busy with nothing in particular.  I prayed for sleep.  I tried to relax.  Then tears formed in my eyes.  I then realized I was thinking about Dawn and her family being evicted.  I got up, took two Xanax and two Anacin.  Made coffee and sat outside smoking, waiting for the meds to  take effect.  BTW, I never take two Xanax at once.  Then I am thinking about a couple shots of whiskey.  I thought about talking the puppy our of her kennel, sitting against the cabinet and just holding her for my own comfort.  Then I thought about this one knife we had that I am partial to.  Thought maybe I would take it in the bathroom and sit on the floor with it.  Just sit.  Thought about the fact that there aren't really any old-time razor blades...Then I saw the handgun sitting on Hunter's side of the kitchen table.  Hm....
These are just thoughts that pop into my scrambled, too full brain.  I can't control what goes on in there. I sat outside crying softly.  It was night time and sobbing could have disturbed some one's sleep.  Then the crying became interspersed with my own thoughts?  What thoughts.  Just needed to cry?  But it wasn't a cleansing cry.  It was more sorrow.  Sad about what?  Perhaps my worthlessness. 
I went to bed and Hunter asked me if I was OK.  He asked if I wanted him to get up with me, if there was anything he could do.  Asked if I wanted him to just hold me.  That starts me crying again.  I have a tendency to cry when someone is being genuinely nice to me.  He told me I should wake him when I get these feelings.  I cuddled up against him and he kept soothing me.  That eventually helped.  So I slept.  This morning he softly called up to me that it was a beautiful day if I wanted to come out and enjoy it or that I could go back to sleep. See?  This is the confusion in my marriage.  When he is gook, he is very, very good. I decide to get up.  It is beautiful.  I showered and put on real clothes instead of my ghetto, doesn't match, fake bra, I don't care "uniform."  He has my new sheets washed and on the clothes line.
My mind is still feeling a bit full.  Residual feelings perhaps?  I will get over it.  Last night was just a little scary for me, you know? 
Will change sheets.  Maybe work in the yard and clean house.  Will see if Hunter will take me to China Buffet for dinner.  Polish my nails.  Clean off the tables and get my new camera working.  A commenter asked our LAMB WHORE LEADER-SARA-if she was coming to northern Illinois.  Sara is a cleaning maniac.  If she is coming, I will invite her here also to help me.  Ha.  I should be so lucky.  Then there is JOEL  who is a jack-of-all-trades.  I could keep him busy for months.  My posts are beginning to be alot like MY NAME WAS FEMALE- not for those with short attention spans.  I l love her and her posts.  She is very dear to me.   If I could link to them, I would.  I haven't figured that out yet. I did, however, buy two books titled Computers For Dumb Old Fucks.  You people are my people.  I appreciate you all dearly. 

Ohhhhh, I really wanted to slap that look right off her face!

Sadly, I am talking about my 12 year old grand daughter.  I went to my Daughter's yesterday because they just received notice that they are being evicted in 2 weeks.  Her husband works 6 weeks at a time in which ever state they send him.  He won't be home until a day or so after the eviction.  He asked for permission to go home and help with all this.  He is waiting for am answer.  They have $$ now but when you haven't paid your mortgage in 4 years......yeah, not good.  At least they are all caught up on their utilities.   And all my advice has fallen on deaf ears so I just went over there to go to the library to use the computers there to look for places to rent.  Ended up being a productive day although I can't get her to change her spending or how she mother's her children..  At least make them meals. Plan ahead, etc.  They have a fridge and 2 freezers full of food.

The thing with Meadow?  Yes, all Dawn's kids are and have been under so much stress.  But Meadow?  She gets this extremely haughty face on her and ignores her mom and now me also!  We dropped her off at the batting cages and Dawn arranged for the coach to bring her home.  Meadow was livid.  The coach's wife was there and Dawn usually keeps these things private but some how started talking to the coach's wife.  Turns out she has a friend that is renting out a 3 bedroom house.  Hopefully things will work out.  One way or another they always do.  Anyway, we could not bring her home because we had to pick up Cain at the airport.  Meadow acts like we should have stayed and/or picked her up from batting practice.  Really? And leave Cain at the airport?
After we got home, Meadow was being all nice and everything.  I can't flip the switch that soon.  The disrespect was too blatant. For her to have acted like she did and to also push me away when I tried to hug her?  Oh No.  That doesn't fly with me.

I have raised both a son and a daughter and yes, boys are so much easier.  My kids weren't perfect.  Far from it.  But I would categorize them as typical teens.  I honestly wanted to smack that look right off Meadow's face.  I have never, EVER hit a kid, mine included.  But boy.......you have no idea.

Well, I will close asI have to help Hunter put up a pair of mini-blinds.  Yeah, I know.  But I will help him anyway.  In the mean time,....enjoy the 100 degree temps today.  I know I will!