Still angry. Why not? It's something to do, right?
I get an allowance now. $200 a month. Yeah, sounds sophomoric yet generous. With that money, I am to buy cigarettes and gas and snacks or Mc.D's, peanuts, M&M's and anything else I should want, like going to the thrift stores. He did say that I could buy stuff for the house and clothes-and this isn't really what it sounds like. Yes, you are all correct. I should just quit smoking. But here's the thing....I have smoked ever sense he met me, as did he.
57 years old and I get a fuckin' allowance.
I know. Divorce him. Bah. Nothing is ever real or honest or pure.
I feel like this is not my home planet.
My favorite thing-besides going to the flea market with my late husband-is to be the hospital after having surgery and being on dalauded. People taking care of me and caring. Yeah, it's their job but at this point I would settle for fake concern.
I am not making light of the following but I am curious. How does it feel emotionally to cut?
Does anyone think it would be better to drink than to be on all this medication?
I am just looking for a way to feel better.