Saturday, December 11, 2010

A Broken Toy

I feel broken this Christmas. I am wondering where God is. He too is wondering where his middlechild is. A child he loves very much.

No tree again. No room for one. No presents to wrap as The Hunter decided to give money. My kids both need money as they are both in financial trouble. No dinners here as there is no room. No Christmas music on low. No Christmas Story on the T.V. playing over and over. Nothing baked and frozen. No joy.

Should I just pretend? I'm not one for playing games. I live on the honest side of the tracks. Maybe I could try as far as others go. But I doubt I could fool myself into thinking things will ever get better.

Like a toy at Christmas,....I am broken.

13 comments:

Lydia said...

Wow. I have been feeling really down and not in the holiday spirit at all. And I keep reading posts by others that tell of their own sadness. One described her feeling about Christmas this year as "iffy." It is just a hard year for many but we each experience it personally. There is a video at my latest post that brought me some comfort and may have a bit of that for you too. But if you don't feel like coming over please know that I am wishing you well. I am wishing the whole world to not be broken!

the walking man said...

I hate to say this kiddo but what a load of crap. Leave the damn trees outside where they do some good for everyone, be glad the old man sent what cash you all could afford and what the hell is stopping you from baking whatever?

Turn the damn TV to 24 news channels and forgedda bout the whole Christmas commercialization thing. God forgot about it before we ever made it into what it has become. And notice 95% of all the commercials are for really high end shit that only the really wealthy can afford.

The old lady and me always shop by checkbook, give each other nothing special because we spend the whole year doing little odds and ends for each other. This year just like the last three she gets to work on that holiest of days which is bullshit anyway.

Want to get into the Christmas spirit get in your new truck and go to a bulk food store spend about fifty bucks and help feed someone.

In other words quit feeling sorry for yourself because at the very least you ain't sleeping on a steam grate yet.

Merry Christmas my ass.

Joel said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1bxlDAjGCo

Toyin O. said...

Praying for you; hang in there,we sometimes need to be broken, so God can rebuild us into spectacular human beings. Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning. hugs:)

Clueless said...

***hugs***

I've also been in the place of depression and am having a quiet holiday with just my husband. Feeling separated from family and abandoned. And, yes feeling broken, but you and I are not broken. There are happy things and things to be grateful for if we just look hard...difficult as it may be.

Linda Medrano said...

I'm sorry you're blue. I am a little down too. I haven't even thought about Christmas shopping and with 2 kids, 6 grandkids, and the husband, I need to do something soon. Ugh!

KittyCat said...

Praying for you, that you will find some peace and happiness soon.

Kamila said...

oh my... i wanna say don't worry... but i know that words won't help that much to take away your struggles...

don't worry, God is just right there... He won't leave you.. you might just wanna think that everything is a TEST,.. i hope you won't loose hope...

Joe Cap said...

Wow, the Walking Man kinda told it like it is, to a point. But Christmas puts too much stress on people, too much expectation.
I could do without all the fancy advertisements for material things, and just be quietly alone with my family, and at church, where our hearts and minds should be.
God bless you, praying for you!

sarah said...

ouch. this is so sad. If you lived close to me...I'd have you come over here and join us. Holidays mean little to me but for my kids...I try to be upbeat. As a family we've decided to help reach out..that's what really makes me happy. Stay strong okay...

Aunt Juicebox said...

It's really rough when traditions end, and we have to change. My daughter is too old for most of our traditions too. I decided to do it up for myself, and I have been watching all the movies, I put up a BIG tree instead of the little one (even if you don't have room for a big tree, you can decorate with lights, etc) and I'm making ribs for dinner, even though it will just be me and Mike. Do what will make YOU feel in the spirit.

Aunt Juicebox said...

I can't reply to your comment through email, so I just wanted to let you know I did get it.

laurie @ bargain hunting said...

Saying prayers for you. The economy this year has made most of us feel stressed about Christmas gifts and all of the Christmas traditions. But, Christmas is still about the birth of our Savior, and for that we can rejoice. I hope you can too. Sending you hugs. laurie