Wednesday, June 9, 2010

I live on the porch.

Because it takes me away from man when he is driving me nuts. But if he hears me talking to someone, he generally comes out and takes over the conversation. If he is too late, he'll ask me who it was and what they said etc,... And he comes out to tell me weird things. Like today he said that there was a frozen apple in the fridge and I'd better check it out. (not the apple). So I said, "Yeah, I'll come in and turn it down." He tells me to vacuum the coils too. Whatever. He did have a large patio poured out back last year for me. The weather made it impossible to seal it last year and it soooo needs to be done. We are (were?) still trying to figure out how to build a roof over it. Today I had my plsc. lounge chair out to clean it . I told man that I was going to move the wood and sawhorses and set up my chairs and a table and stuff. He's like, "No. Don't move anything." So this cool patio is just one more place for him to pile junk. I began to clean my chair and I see that it is broken. I know he did it because he throws things around, and piles things up, heavy on top. I started to clean it anyway because the chairs integrity wasn't compromised and I put the hose down for a second and he takes it and starts hosing off his truck. Tells me if I need it, to let him know. Hello! I was using it. Then there's the part where he steps on a new plant in my front flower bed. And he was digging up one of the little bushes I planted 2 yrs. ago. He wants to expand his garden. When I planted this, I asked him where I was allowed to put it. Then I double and triple checked that it was ok. Guess not. Why bother. Why even try. I feel totally defeated.
Bottom line is that he is so disrespectful and doesn't even realize or think about my efforts or stuff. And he has a new game. Turning off the washing machine so that when I go down there, I wonder why it's full of water and not doing anything. Oh no, he wasn't down there. Fine. Explain the wet rag hung over the laundry tub. All minor things but they are really getting to me. I get so depressed sometimes. I have a torn apart house, I have no control of any money so I can't fix anything or pay someone to do it. And even if I try something, anything, it is a waste of time and energy cuz it will get messed up, discounted, or elicit negative comments. Sometimes if I bake, instead of "yum!" I'll hear about how so and so made the best such and such or if my flowers look great he'll start talking about someone elses'. He trims the hell out of my lilac bush then says how great someone elses' looks. Let me just say this, I am someone. I am good. And,...I do matter!


Ms. A said...

Everyone deserves AT LEAST a porch. Someplace to escape, when things are tough. Here's to you finding a place.

Anonymous said...

Yes you do matter girl. I know what you mean. My man does the same thing. My house is horrible. Especially the back yard. I'm afraid that someone is going to report us. He has made a mess of it and now is complaining that we aren't out there helping him clean it up. GRrrrrrr

Small Town Girl said...

I came close to hitting my man with a skillet yesterday when he was trying to "fix" something. They can be very aggravating.