Sunday, May 30, 2010

The good the bad and the ugly.

Here's the good about my man for all who wonder WTF is she doing with him. In the beginning God created,...er, um,...Anyway, I have always been friendly (if you catch my drift) and especially 20 years ago! Perfect match. I have to say that I realize he can be so charming and delightful. I am not saying that is really who he is though. He worked his ass off and most of his $$ went to child support and what was then called maintenance. I basically supported him for four+ years. He helped me raise two teenagers. I have come to realize quite a few truths about him. (I have seen him cry and he has actually apologized a couple times). The saving grace here is that he does realize what he is like in real life. I am finally able to see through the 16 yr. old boy, full of bravado and bullshit. I see the man he wants to be. He does have a heart. He does have feelings. He gets scared and has feelings of worthlessness. He knows he takes his anger at his own failings or anger at others out on me. My therapist talked with me quite a bit and also met with him and we were somehow able to see a pattern of stressors associated with his "naughty" behavior. She named it anxiety and WOW, did she hit the nail on the head. None of what I'm saying excuses his behavior BTW.

7 comments:

The Queen said...

They all have good sides.. If his good side ... out weighs his asshole... I guess that should say asshole side.. but.. anyway.. and you are happy with the life you have... then hold.. if not.. ask for a new deck! I'd get a new deck.. but I drink a lot.. so what can I say..

The Queen said...

but I heart your face either way!

Ms. Anthropy said...

Sometimes, it's nice to realize the person, hiding behind the facade. Especially if you are in a relationship with them. Hope that hidden side reveals itself more.

solecleansing66 said...

Boy some men must be made out of the same mold. Your husband reminds me of mine! Yes they can be charming and they do have a heart. It is very rare though when you see it. When I see it I alway's say to myself yes that is the man I fell in love with. My hubbie & I have been through similar situations as yours and I think he has apologized 2 times to me in the 21 years we have been together. All I can say is communication is the key. I was afraid of telling him the truth when I was upset about something he has done but you know what they don't have a problem voicing theres so I my therapist said you have to start being honest. It's been hard for me but he seems to be getting it now.

God Bless!

R. Jacob said...

One must start at the beginning sometimes, and her I am!

R. Jacob said...

here?

The Queen said...

Well, at least I was Loyal!