I want to post but.....

I just have been too tired.  There are things I've wanted to talk about but all I can think about is wanting to sleep.  My son-in-law leaves Sunday for a weeks training and then goes directly to work.  He will be gone for weeks at a time.  I am going there Sun. as daughter Dawn works a 12 hour shift and she is worried about the kids.  How will they handle their dad leaving.  She is especially worried about her daughter Meadow.  I would do anything for those kids and for my daughter.  But I am tired.  What will I do for 12 hours? 
I dread going grocery shopping.  I know I have to clean but don't want to.  I am too tired.  Yes, I do sleep enough.  Usually 9 and a half hours.  Need to sleep less?  That makes no difference.  Hunter raped my bushes.  That is very disrespectful.  "They are too tall!"  So what does he do?  He cuts them up the sides.  Yeah, that will shorten them.  I got so sad and mad that I decided to just dig up EVERYTHING that I had planted.  Yeah.  The whole yard and I almost did so!  But then I realized that the only thing to do was to get even.  You bet.  "Oh honey.  I'm so sad your garden did so poorly this year."  Then of course, God reminds me that it would be so wrong and that I would feel terrible.  And He's right.  It's just that it makes me want to give up.  And because I have this doctor appt. Monday, I have realized that I will never have a house that is livable.  And that makes me give up.
It is futile.  Life is stupid.