Give me back my coloring book!

Aauugh! There's nothing about a blue crayon. I told you it was a bad example! And I am a bit "different" so my frame of reference will seem strange to most. I am still in a bad mood because I haven't gotten enough sleep in the past 5 nights.



WALKING MAN - There is no such thing as talking too much as long as you listen. Back and forth like a tennis ball. It's called conversation. I was unaware that men knew how to do this. I commend you.



So, it's beautiful out. The repair guy/friend just came over and I could tell by what I overheard and what Chuck said, that no repairs were necessary. Apparently, someone must have done something wrong to the machine or controls or whatever. Again - these are the things that occur on a regular basis that drive me crazy. And I am tired of traveling to crazy. I am just venting. Please understand. And if any of you want to put me in the bitch column, that's ok too. "Sometimes being a bitch is all a woman's got!" It's about 3pm. I can either take 1/2 of an energy pill (Vicodin) and go out into the world and conquer (as in bake 2 batches of 2 diff. kinds of cookies and clean my car) BTW - What do you call a crossover anyhow? A truck, a car, a van? or take a nap and avoid the day altogether. The kitchen is a mess and as that is Chuck's domain (because he is always in there and says I am in his way), I don't really have the room to bake. Even if I "manned up" and went about my business as though I too owned a portion of the kitchen, he would move things and throw things and such. No, really! Blah, Blah, Blah. Did I mention I am crabby? Yeah, I thought so. Think middlechild, think! Well I was up 'till 3 am last night and too late the previous nights so I could actually stay up tonight and bake stuff then. Good idea!

Speaking of kitchens and ownership,......when I met the golden child, this was my house. My fully paid for house. I also supported him for like 4 years cuz he was paying child support and what was then called maintenance. Technically, though I worked full time, I also got child support for my two and s.s. from my late husband (who was on SSI due to his heart condition) for my kids. The way I see it, as much and as often as he put me and my two previous husbands down, wouldn't you think he's be a bit embarrassed to be supported by those two men? BTW - I see nothing wrong with men who stay home to raise the kids when their wives work. I get that kind of deal. Wow. I have nothing to say and all the stupid shit just comes pouring out. But since this my equivalent of a diary - one that Chuck can't read like he did my others, I can write any kind of drivel I choose.

Now if any of you are still with me,.....I do have crayons and a coloring book for myself. My favorite color crayon was blue-green when I was a kid. WARNING WARNING Here comes another off on a tangent. If my Mom were still alive, I would be a disappointment to her. She was an artist and here I am doing fucking paint-by-numbers? She played bridge and I play solitaire. She played piano and organ and I tap my nails on the table. She wore stilettos and I wear Uggs. She drank whiskey and water everynight and I only have the occasional Bloody Mary. Other than smoking my fuckin' lungs out, I have failed her in every way. I will blame it on the fact that I was 17 when she died and she didn't have a chance to teach me all the ways of the kitchen table people. (Maybe a post later on that clan.)