tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6321465419026254120.post432899258993519124..comments2023-07-06T06:35:28.484-05:00Comments on Living in Pleasantville: Gone in 60 Seconds.middle childhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09805863175279915034noreply@blogger.comBlogger18125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6321465419026254120.post-3965733659419229242011-03-14T16:58:45.196-05:002011-03-14T16:58:45.196-05:00That's so tough.
I'm so sorry you're i...That's so tough.<br />I'm so sorry you're in that situation, mama. =(LilPixihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06003943884120914945noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6321465419026254120.post-49668387845653869972011-03-14T10:30:34.701-05:002011-03-14T10:30:34.701-05:00You are in a very difficult position. Having gran...You are in a very difficult position. Having grandchildren in the picture makes it even more difficult to know what to do. <br /><br />My sister taught me this hard lesson years ago. She would ask for money. I would give it. I would talk to her on the phone and cry for an hour afterwards every time that we talked. I always felt so bad at how she, her husband and children were living. <br /><br />I didn't know that she was a battered wife on top of everything else. She didn't reveal that until many years after she left him. <br /><br />I would give them money. The situation never seemed to get any better. They were heavy smokers at the time and never seemed to go without cigarettes at any time. <br /><br />For years, she was resentful that I had the money to give when she asked for it and advice which she never followed. I was resentful for having to give her the money that was supposed to be a loan and was never paid back and that she never followed any of the advice that she asked for and I gave.<br /><br />Finally, our relationship changed and got much better when I stopped giving the money and the advice. The resentment stopped for both of us. Today if I give money, it is a gift, not a loan. The gift is with no expectations on my part and doesn't happen very often. I hold no resentment about money today so I am happier.Patricia Singletonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14114250171020836470noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6321465419026254120.post-38690640037449207032011-03-11T17:46:36.582-06:002011-03-11T17:46:36.582-06:00I can't imagine how bad the email must have ma...I can't imagine how bad the email must have made you feel but stick to your guns. I believe you are doing the right thing.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6321465419026254120.post-64955048272524265372011-03-11T15:48:38.738-06:002011-03-11T15:48:38.738-06:00So sorry to hear that. It has to be hard, but you...So sorry to hear that. It has to be hard, but you have helped before. They have to learn how to dig themselves out of it. We've been through similar things with my BIL and SIL and they still haven't got it. And they still try to make us feel guilty at Christmas that they have to get help from their church rather than their family. Frustrating.Pam Kesslerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14830005036551331029noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6321465419026254120.post-27788701125458148482011-03-11T01:58:54.203-06:002011-03-11T01:58:54.203-06:00Its hard but tough love is hard.
Those little fuc...Its hard but tough love is hard.<br /><br />Those little fuckers will suck you dry if you let them.A Daft Scots Lasshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01922985143036647579noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6321465419026254120.post-90575632742264980162011-03-10T21:30:41.875-06:002011-03-10T21:30:41.875-06:00Just wanted to say hey.
got in trouble at wk for i...Just wanted to say hey.<br />got in trouble at wk for internet use. : ( jsut didnt want you to think I forgot about you.<br /><br />Hope your doing well.<br /><br />KittycatKittyCathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07089609329002975320noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6321465419026254120.post-14095868551763169092011-03-10T20:23:23.775-06:002011-03-10T20:23:23.775-06:00Yeah it's going to be super tough but sometime...Yeah it's going to be super tough but sometimes you have to let people struggle a little. Just a little bit. It does not make you a bad person boo. Just keep the faith and KNOW that he will be more than okay sooner than you think ;)<br /><br />*hugs and love ma*THUNDERCAThttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09174441106486023428noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6321465419026254120.post-4087712672442326142011-03-10T12:11:54.607-06:002011-03-10T12:11:54.607-06:00My parents are in this exact situation with my sis...My parents are in this exact situation with my sister. They have given her thousands of dollars, helped her escape from her abusive husband only to have her run back to him, over and over. Stay strong even though it's hard to do.Am I Really Grown Up?https://www.blogger.com/profile/11288851390585443555noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6321465419026254120.post-76846410447065276002011-03-10T08:52:51.472-06:002011-03-10T08:52:51.472-06:00So sorry to hear that. I hope things turn out righ...So sorry to hear that. I hope things turn out right. But you are right, they have to live their lives.LaNeshehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04219535634041170532noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6321465419026254120.post-34907114020282021202011-03-09T23:59:08.447-06:002011-03-09T23:59:08.447-06:00That's one of the worst things about being a p...That's one of the worst things about being a parent, I'm sure. Everyone has to learn to live within their means. I can't imagine how heartbreaking it is for you to see it taken out on your grandchildren though. I wish I had some advice. Thinking about it makes me tear up. I've never been financially stable, but it's nothing that has ever effected my daughter in any way. It has to tear you up inside, but you can't always bail them out.Jennerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17273494850977143140noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6321465419026254120.post-41419536751647638082011-03-09T22:27:14.760-06:002011-03-09T22:27:14.760-06:00speaking as a child of generous parents such as yo...speaking as a child of generous parents such as yourself, i can tell you you're absolutely right. i didn't learn a g.d. thing until i finally had to do it on my own. and yes, i was angry at my parents initially, and yes, i crashed and burned when they withdrew their help, and i had to start all over again. but at least i've pulled my head from my arse at the age of 32, and finally grown up.<br /><br />i would have kept taking my parents help forever and never done anything for myself for the rest of my life, had i been given the choice.Henrietta Collinshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12759980222087034766noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6321465419026254120.post-50732357109580040352011-03-09T21:39:13.452-06:002011-03-09T21:39:13.452-06:00I really believe that, as difficult as it is, you ...I really believe that, as difficult as it is, you are doing the right thing. We can't keep enabling our adult children to not take responsibility. I know it hurts though, and I'm saying a prayer for you. laurieBargain Decorating with Lauriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13582640485560903639noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6321465419026254120.post-43648310235949600362011-03-09T21:35:16.791-06:002011-03-09T21:35:16.791-06:00If they truly do not have any money, they need to ...If they truly do not have any money, they need to apply for State assistance, food stamps, etc. There may also be assistance available via the kids' schools. Is it possible that your daughter/SiL put your grandson up to emailing you? Regardless, it's so hard.... I think you are doing the right thing, though. They are adults and need to learn responsibility for their actions. They will not learn if you bail them out yet again.On My Soapboxhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17192701216999273624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6321465419026254120.post-82073763295093400992011-03-09T21:31:33.927-06:002011-03-09T21:31:33.927-06:00Sorry, I know how much your heart is breaking.
B...Sorry, I know how much your heart is breaking. <br /><br />But what is a worse feeling? Helping them and seeing it do nothing, or not helping them and forcing them to help themselves?Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02993699573170596587noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6321465419026254120.post-46932364418456093192011-03-09T20:52:40.964-06:002011-03-09T20:52:40.964-06:00It's hard, we have been there done that and st...It's hard, we have been there done that and still doing it, you have to draw a line and let them figure out some of this stuff on their own, I too have given advice that has been ignored and it really ticks me off when I am ignored then asked to bail them out.<br /><br />Sink or Swim they say, if you are like me you will let them flounder for a while then throw a life line.Jimmyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11676883070882757501noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6321465419026254120.post-5505829942875865872011-03-09T20:37:04.599-06:002011-03-09T20:37:04.599-06:00You are doing the right thing IMHO. They will nev...You are doing the right thing IMHO. They will never learn to manage money, make better decisions if you keep bailing them out. THEY need to be in therapy and financial counseling.Coffeypothttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08601474604616163167noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6321465419026254120.post-76466421960394847942011-03-09T20:36:53.940-06:002011-03-09T20:36:53.940-06:00So hard watching kids make obvious mistakes but th...So hard watching kids make obvious mistakes but thats how you love them.<br />I have no money either but my kids ended up getting jobs to pay for their own cell phones, etc,... so thats an option for your grandson. He sounds like a brilliant and intelligent lad so he'll be alright.<br />(still hard to watch though - I know,...)My Black Foghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07290925430252045966noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6321465419026254120.post-28579569986071792692011-03-09T20:33:55.791-06:002011-03-09T20:33:55.791-06:00You're in such a rough situation.
Thinking o...You're in such a rough situation. <br /><br />Thinking of you. ::::hugs::::Confessions of a Closet Hoarder but you can call me Judyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09618687581973592183noreply@blogger.com